Tonight, I am processing.
I just spent 13 hours with 16 people, just like me, who are starting to embark on this 9 month leadership training. We all talked today about the challenges of reading 26 books while working and dealing with kids and dealing with other commitments. We shared personal things like where we really come from, like what we are really dealing with, like what we really find as challenges. We built “moon rovers” while people played roles meant to fuck with us. I dropped ours (on purpose) while barefoot in hopes being an inch closer to the ground would help us. And we laughed with one of the team’s rovers stopped working during the test run.
It’s been a long day. It’s been a good day. It’s been an interesting start.
Tomorrow won’t be such a long day. While today I was nervous and wondering if I was out of my league being in a room with all of these people, I found they were all just as nervous as I was.
Last week, my boss insisted on meeting with me one day. “We have to meet now – do you have time? Can you make time?” he asked. I was able to do it, so we talked. He told me his idea for what he was thinking. He was having a VERY hard time hiring the open manager position when it struck him – he should just give it to me.
I started laughing. He hurriedly explained his thinking, assuming my laughter was for some other reason. I finally apologized for interrupting him, but I needed to explain. I was reading this book – one for the class – when something in it triggered this thought “I think I need to take the manager role he is trying to hire”. One of the pieces of feedback he has received in the last couple of months is how much he has rocked the team even while he is thinking he is only making minor changes – the effects are major. It’s kind of like one drop of water falling into a calm pond. It’s just one drop – but it makes waves. To the drop, it’s small – to those used to the calm -it’s not.
“I tried to figure out what it was exactly in that book – in that chapter – that made me realize the thing to do is stop putting drops into the pond. Anymore will just create more for them to deal with — we need to move to calm,” I remarked. Then I told him that I would, of course, take the job – then suggested we divvy up my old job in a way that allows him to continue to manage the executives while I supported him.
“See, I told you this could would make an impact more thank you think!” he remarked later as he grinned at me.
After day 1 – now seeing what the future will look like? I agree with him.
It’s not wonder why I’m nervous. I’m at the start of an unknown journey – right after starting a brand new job. Lots of changes – for the good. Before I left on Sunday, I was getting something out of my jewelry box when it was like my totem called to me. I grabbed the box it is in and tossed it in my bag. I don’t know. I knew G would be texted me and all throughout this process – just felt like I needed a bit more. His energy is still in it. That may sound silly but clearly not form me.
So now I will sleep and think and process some more. Tomorrow will be an interesting day as two of the three books spoke to me. And I know more activities will be had before I head back home on the train.
Years ago, I was at a point in my career that I was contemplating more education or something. I considered an MBA briefly but it didn’t feel the right fit. This is a better fit, I think.
