Friday Feelz

A lot has happened during the last 7 days with most of it happening in the span of about 4 days. For those who say my post from last week (which is now private), some things went down around the foster kid. Just days later, things went down even further in a big, scary way. Thankfully, all adults were focused on getting him the help he really REALLY needs – and we all hope he is ready to receive. And it all came together. According to those in the know, the way it came together is the exception, not the rule. We are all still exhaling from all of the stress and adrenaline and worry. Now, he is safe – and it is all up to him. We are all relieved that it worked out as it did. I explained to someone a few days ago that while it was all happening, I refused to see any other outcome than the desired one. I set the intentions all around that happening. I am relieved it happened.

With all that has happened, I am just physically and mentally exhausted. Wednesday, I went to work and am not sure what I actually got done. It was ridiculous. The dog, sensing that I need sleep, keeps trying to pin me into bed so that I cannot get up. I cannot wait until the holiday is over so I can have all of the stress gone.

With crisis and stress, you often find out what people are really thinking or feeling. And this week has been no different for me. While I’m at the height of my stress with the kid, I am letting people know what we were dealing with because they seemed to come at me at once, wanting info or decisions that I was not going to be making until it was over. With only a couple of exceptions, the news was met with “yeah, just get rid of the kid” or “you can’t help everyone” or “you are just destroying your own life trying to help this kid” or “you are going to teach your kids that this behavior is acceptable in your house” or “he isn’t really part of your family, so don’t let it ruin your plans” or “it’s unfair he is being allowed to ruin your Christmas”. I decided this was a good start of a list of fucked-up things to say to a foster parent in crisis. What disappointed me even more was how many of these things were coming from people that I have helped in the past – even when people were like, “yeah, don’t help them – it’s not worth it”. And it was also coming from people who I would never have expected to hear such things from. Crisis and the like definitely shows who people really are. I mean, fostering isn’t for everyone – I get that. But to use a crisis as an example of why this was a bad decision for me? Yeah, no. Not the time and definitely not a way to show support while we are going through some pretty tough and heavy shit.

Ready for the week to be done. Ready for work to be done. Ready for the holidays. Ready to exhale even more. Ready for the new year. Ready for time with friends and family. Ready to celebrate that we got through another crisis, wiser and generally unscathed. I’m already ready to find out what the last Harry Potter characters I will get in my Harry Potter Advent calendar. (Yes, I’m 12 – no, I don’t care.) And I am more than ready for some holiday cheer.

What do you think?

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