About halfway to work and halfway through my morning cup of coffee, I realize that the above gif was my current mood.

Usually this time of year, the rain and clouds and dark fuel this kind of mood, but I don’t have that to blame today because it’s sunny and clear and beautiful outside.

I think it is just everything of this week that has me not wanting to deal with the day. After an employee on my team had a full on melt down Tuesday afternoon, I realized the project timeline is off track — again. I raised the flag and it pissed my boss off even though no one could have seen this coming. My cohort and partner in crime even commented that there was no way to have known. Didn’t stop the boss from informing me that this is "my one free pass".

Yeah.

Let’s not talk about the fact that with some finagling that I have it back on track. Or talk about the fact that our counterparts on the vendor side are also way off track. Or the bigger issue which is we have both gotten a team that has never had deadlines before – and we are giving them both deadlines and enforcement of them.

I expected to take my lumps for it – it’s what I do as the middle man between my team and the boss. But still. Now it has me looking at everything wondering if I’m doing anything right. Let’s not talk about how he has higher expectations of me than he does others. I don’t know. All I feel like I’m doing now is trying to make a show of things.

What’s funny is he made a comment about how my area is becoming a black box in terms of he doesn’t understand how it runs. Uhm, that’s why you hired me, dude – so you didn’t have to get into the details.

I think at the end of the day I’m just having drop – stress drop – drop because I’ve been running in high gear for the last few days and now it is starting to settle down.

And my only desire for aftercare – it to crawl in bed and have the pity party I have been postponing.

But no, I get another 9 hours of this…..

……here goes…..