The other day, I installed the WTForecast app on my phone. Why? I needed some joy brought to the weather – or at least some snark. Snark? Oh yeah – got it. This was tonight’s forecast.
Earlier – it was this:
And yesterday, it was this:
Yeah, I like the snark.
I’m hoping tomorrow that everyone has school. Because, well, I’m ready for everyone to be out of the house. I’m ready to be able to do things that don’t require me to throw this person or that out of the house. And I’m ready for the snow and ice to be fucking gone. Tonight, as G and I were walking from where I parked to the bar we were going to eat, we were sinking into all of the snow and ice. A good sign.
A not so good sign? Our hipster neighbor, once again, parked her car in front of our driveway. The problem? She’s gone for the night. G went over and confronted them about it only to have them deny any knowledge of it. We called the police, and he went over to talk to them. Suddenly they know who the car belongs to. He gave them a small window to get it moved else he’s having it towed. I’m honestly hoping for the tow. Damn, I just looked out the window, and they moved it.
Tonight, DJ was supposed to have a martial arts class. Their policy is that if the school district calls classes, so do they. They decided to open because of all of the closures. I had to email the school to let them know that it is interesting that things are good where they are – but they are not where we are. I’m not going to screw with traffic to try to get there. “Oh, OK” was the response. Lord am I glad DJ starts driver’s ed next week. That way she has options when she gets her license.
And G and I have already started talking about getting her an appropriate car. Next summer, G is off on his adventure – and she will need to help out and drive herself around. It makes sense. But, I just realize that by the end of summer, we could be a family of 5 cars. Ugh.
I had a long talk with my dad today. I think I surprised him after he commented that there was something he liked that Paul Ryan said. It was something that related to Planned Parenthood. He told me the part that he liked – “It would be the local people determining the policy of what does and does not happen in those clinics. Doesn’t that sound good?” He really shouldn’t have asked.
“Dad, while I get what you like about it, I still think it’s bullshit – and here is why. Any interaction between patient and doctor should be between them only. I hate insurance companies are allowed to override a doctor’s plans. I hate that the federal government intervenes in what can or cannot happen between doctor and patient especially between woman and doctor. And I really hate the idea of local people making those decisions for women especially given the contradictory nature of what people believe. ‘We don’t don’t like abortion – but birth control makes women promiscuous.’ You can’t be both ways yet people are. What are they going to do? Limit the drug treatment for bladder infections because people believe it has to do with too much sex? Where is the regulation of viagra or Cialis? Or better yet, are you OK that the local voters can weigh in on your cholesterol meds? I mean, change your diet – you won’t need it — what’s the problem?”
My dad was speechless.
And I’m OK with that.
Thankfully I know him – and I know he will think about it. It’s what I love about him.
A few months ago, I was asked by someone for advice about poly and realized quickly this was not a poly question. Tonight, I saw the same person post two things — one about how she thinks she is in an abusive relationship — and then something about not knowing what to do. I have too much info about this person and her relationship, so I said:
“Honey, trust your gut. I know you are struggling with what to do with this relationship. And I know you have needs that aren’t being met – and feelings like you owe him and his parents a lot for what they have given you in the past. You don’t owe them forever. Spread your wings. Leap and have faith you will fly. I do believe you will. The first step is the scariest. Take it – it could be the scariest, and the best step of your life. Big hugs to you!”
She is 18. And so much of what I wrote, I truly feel. I’m almost 44 years old, and even I struggle with it.
It’s funny because last night, I had this crazy ass dream. Fuck, I had two crazy ass dreams. The first one was beyond crazy. It involved a fox, a badger, a cougar in a fenced in the field when an idiot guy decided to walk his dog through this crazy mix of predators. Needless to say, it did not end well for the dog. Honestly, I woke myself up because the sounds of that dog dying were too much even in my dream. It wasn’t until I looked up all of the images in a dream dictionary that I realized what was happening. A dog represents intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The badger that killed the dog is a person who has too much power that is giving me a difficult time. I realized I am still struggling with so much. I am still struggling with taking back the power people have over me – the raw emotions I have and how people make me react. I get it. It’s hard to love someone who had made their choices that don’t involve you – even when they say they love you. I get the fear they may just disappear. I get that.
It’s hard – and it hurts – and it’s hard. I think I said that already. All you can hope for is wings – is something better. At least, in her case, she has a good chance of finding something better. She doesn’t have the burden of age, of relationship status, of kids. She can find what she wants — her chances are better.
I just hope she takes them.