I’m having one of those days….
One where I feel like nothing can go right.
One where I’m tired – like deep in my bones tired – and I’m not sure I can get the “sleep” I need.
One where I’m sick of people I care about expecting me to compromise what I need.
One where I feel just tired….
Tired of worrying about how others are feeling.
Tired of trying to “fix it” for others.
Tired of compromising what I need.
G has had a pretty bad toothache for the past few days. Last night, it kept him up all night – and in return, it kept me up. And today, the bullshit with the weather and the closed businesses resulted in him looking to me to tell him what to do. Fuck, I don’t know. I don’t have the magic wand.
Then I have bored kids. They are wanting to do this and that because they don’t have school and are bored but excited by the snow.
Add into the mix the fact I’m pretty much at wits end with my mom. I love her to death but fuck. How many guilt trips can she try to give me in the past 24 hrs? The answer is 3. So far, it is 3.
And with each guilt trip, I want to just say “fuck off – I’m staying here.”
I usually love they are nearby now – but today, I hate it.
The worst part? The fact they keep forgetting that I’m unemployed. And since they forget it, they also don’t understand why I won’t take a risk that I would have in the past. Funny thing about being unemployed – you are less likely to put yourself in a situation that, if it goes badly, could exhaust the bank account.
I get that sometimes when it rains that it also pours. But I’m just tired.
Today, I am very tired.
And my reserves? They are drained too.