A couple of days ago, a woman I had met and interacted with at a munch posted a list of articles she had found about polyamory. She is young (20 years old) and brand new to polyamory. She had posted this list to get feedback for so she also had a place to go to revisit things later. I gave her a couple of other resources and affirmed that she was on the right track. This interaction led to some private messages where she told me more of what she was looking for. In thinking about it, I realized I had all of these in my head but it may be good to create a list of them for others but also for me. (I have some that are favorites of mine because maybe they shifted my thinking about one thing or another – or it led to an ah-ha moment.)
Here is my list of must-read articles and/or must listen-to podcasts:
the problem with polynormativity – lengthy blog post by Sex Geek but does a great job explaining why polyamory is so challenging because what is presented as “normal” is not always what works for everyone. It led to her being interviewed by Cunning Minx of PolyWeekly on episode 353. Go listen to it as the discussion between them is very good. (Makes reading the blog post a bit easier, to be honest.)
The 5 Worst Things About Open Relationships – All of these are true. Something to be aware of.
Riding the Relationship Escalator (or Not) — A great analogy for how society tries to put us on a relationship path towards a particular end goal (usually spouse and kids) – and how it can look not being on that escalator.
The Secondary Bill of Rights — I love this bill of rights found on More Than Two! I know many failed poly relationships that fail because the secondary is seen as having no rights. This has always bothered me, so reading this is good for all involved as it points out that a secondary has rights and they are just as important as the primary.
Common Poly Mistakes — Another great More Than Two contribution. “Don’t start a new relationship if your existing relationship has problems” is just one of the spot-on mistakes people make. Definitely a must read.
Eve and Franklin’s Interview on PolyWeekly — I love their discussion about empowerment over rules. Years ago, G and I looked at each other and asked what we were trying to accomplish with the rules we had established. In the end, we tossed them. Why? They weren’t doing anything. Anyway, good discussion – very good.
Books:
More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux
Opening Up by Tristan Taormino
Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan — more of a look at human sexuality and monogamy than poly advice
Podcast:
Poly Weekly is my go-to podcast for all things polyamory. Cunning Minx has been practicing polyamory and sharing her experiences for a long time now. And the site also contains her writings, resource list, even where she is teaching classes. Great overall site and podcast. Oh, and she interviews everyone. It is kind of awesome.
Blogs:
Allena Gabosch – A sex educator based in Seattle who writes about poly, relationships and sexuality
Sex Geek – Andrea Zanin has great polyamory resources including poly and kink, poly and queer, etc. She writes about a lot of different topics too.
SoloPoly — While the author of this site is off writing a book, the site still contains a lot of good info especially if you are single and poly.
The More Than Two Blog — Eve and Franklin blog about many different topics that come to them via interactions they have had with readers, observations, etc.
What are your favorites?? Did I miss any?
