Today is a day where the feeling is melancholy.

I don’t know why.

Well, maybe I do.

My expected weekend got derailed with one doozy of a migraine.  I don’t get the often but when I do….damn.  Usually a dark room and some advil will fix it.  Sadly, not this time.  This time, I had some fun nausea with it.  Nothing like the house smelling like yummy breakfast – except, to me, it smelled like something that would make your stomach turn.

So my Saturday and Sunday was fucked.

Time I would usually spend with SB was spent in bed, with the covers pulled over my head, wishing my head would either stop aching or explode. I didn’t care which – just sitting at that cross-roads was making it worse.  It finally hit a dull ache.  I was able to eat.  So I did – and spent the evening in front of a fire watching The Wizard of Oz.

Fun Emmy fact – I fucking LOVE that movie.  I used to peruse the TV listings to figure out when it was going to play – its annual broadcast on TV.  Then I would beg my parents to stay up to watch all of it.  I loved that movie – and still do.  So, last night, I sat in front of the fire – and DJ and I watched the whole thing.  G and Indigo gave up earlier to go to bed.

After it was done, DJ took her cat (a new addition to the house) and went to bed. I stayed up a bit longer.

And learned a classmate of mine from high school suffered a tragedy yesterday.  Her son died – after leaving the mat of a wrestling tournament.  I did not realize it was someone I knew until I clicked on the name in the status update – and stared into the face of a woman who I knew …..she just was 25 years older.

I cannot imagine how she must feel.  She has three kids. Her oldest was a shining star – already had a place on a college football and wrestling team.  A senior in high school with the world by the balls – and he’s gone now. Cheering one minute –  mourning the next.  What fucking whiplash.

I cannot imagine.

Today the outpouring of love to that family has been fucking amazing.  Not unexpected really – but reminds me of what is lacking being out here.  The trade off is truly community.  We have some but not nearly how it is there – small town midwest.  The booster club started a GoFundMe about 10 hours ago – asking for $5K for medical and funeral expenses.  Last I looked, they had raised over $22, 000 for this kid’s family.  While money doesn’t bring him back, I know it will be used to keep his memory going.  Not just bury him.  That is how we work in rural areas.

Today has been odd. I slept in as my family went off to do a pre-planned day of making things in my FIL’s workshop.  I finally got up – went to the store (which should give me a badge of honor of and in itself), then came home to make dinner for their arrival home.

Dinner was already underway when I got the message no one would be home for dinner.

So I continued to finish dinner and all.

And realized that melancholy is how I’m feeling.

I miss everyone – but don’t feel like poking my head out.  I’m a funny person like that.

I just instead want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head.

I know tomorrow will be a different day – I just want to get there already, I guess.