Today is a day where the feeling is melancholy.
I don’t know why.
Well, maybe I do.
My expected weekend got derailed with one doozy of a migraine. I don’t get the often but when I do….damn. Usually a dark room and some advil will fix it. Sadly, not this time. This time, I had some fun nausea with it. Nothing like the house smelling like yummy breakfast – except, to me, it smelled like something that would make your stomach turn.
So my Saturday and Sunday was fucked.
Time I would usually spend with SB was spent in bed, with the covers pulled over my head, wishing my head would either stop aching or explode. I didn’t care which – just sitting at that cross-roads was making it worse. It finally hit a dull ache. I was able to eat. So I did – and spent the evening in front of a fire watching The Wizard of Oz.
Fun Emmy fact – I fucking LOVE that movie. I used to peruse the TV listings to figure out when it was going to play – its annual broadcast on TV. Then I would beg my parents to stay up to watch all of it. I loved that movie – and still do. So, last night, I sat in front of the fire – and DJ and I watched the whole thing. G and Indigo gave up earlier to go to bed.
After it was done, DJ took her cat (a new addition to the house) and went to bed. I stayed up a bit longer.
And learned a classmate of mine from high school suffered a tragedy yesterday. Her son died – after leaving the mat of a wrestling tournament. I did not realize it was someone I knew until I clicked on the name in the status update – and stared into the face of a woman who I knew …..she just was 25 years older.
I cannot imagine how she must feel. She has three kids. Her oldest was a shining star – already had a place on a college football and wrestling team. A senior in high school with the world by the balls – and he’s gone now. Cheering one minute – mourning the next. What fucking whiplash.
I cannot imagine.
Today the outpouring of love to that family has been fucking amazing. Not unexpected really – but reminds me of what is lacking being out here. The trade off is truly community. We have some but not nearly how it is there – small town midwest. The booster club started a GoFundMe about 10 hours ago – asking for $5K for medical and funeral expenses. Last I looked, they had raised over $22, 000 for this kid’s family. While money doesn’t bring him back, I know it will be used to keep his memory going. Not just bury him. That is how we work in rural areas.
Today has been odd. I slept in as my family went off to do a pre-planned day of making things in my FIL’s workshop. I finally got up – went to the store (which should give me a badge of honor of and in itself), then came home to make dinner for their arrival home.
Dinner was already underway when I got the message no one would be home for dinner.
So I continued to finish dinner and all.
And realized that melancholy is how I’m feeling.
I miss everyone – but don’t feel like poking my head out. I’m a funny person like that.
I just instead want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head.
I know tomorrow will be a different day – I just want to get there already, I guess.