Ramblings of the Sick

  • I am blessed that I don’t have major issues with my kids and their behavior.  If you read the Facebook memes that people like to post, it must be because my kids were spanked. Uhm, they weren’t.  I just have always held onto the belief that I am the adult and am ultimately responsible for keeping them on the right path.  Don’t want to go to school? Don’t care – you’re going. Don’t want to do homework? We will do it together if that’s what is required.  Want to fight about everything?  Let’s see how much you like fighting when the consequence is picking up dog crap in the backyard.  (Oh, they get to use a shovel – I’m not that mean.)  I should stop here and comment that I know things would be much different if my kids were diagnosed with opposition defiance disorder or fun things like that.  But even those I know who have kids with that still work their asses off to keep their kids on the straight and narrow.  They may advocate for their kids, but they still make the kids hold up their end of the bargain or let the consequences fall where they will if the kid will not.   What brought on this rant?  I know someone who constantly is in the mode of “why did I have kids?”  and it’s mainly because she is forced to parent – the hard parenting.  The “I don’t care if you don’t want to go to school, if you are late one more time because you went back to bed I’m taking away your skateboard and your phone, type of parenting”  But what if they hate me? My response: Good – means you’re doing your job right – you stood for something, you held your ground.  Kids are sneaky – kids will be kids – all of those lame ass excuses are just that – and the judge will ultimately tell you that too when you find yourself before him/her trying to explain why your kid got into trouble under your watch.  Harsh? Yeah.  But then again, I knew parenting wasn’t going to be a walk in the park when we had kids. It can have a lot of reward – but there are times, there are times when you are fighting a battle with them on something, and the only way you’ll win is outlasting them.  As I told my oldest when she declared me the worst mommy ever because I wouldn’t give into her tantrum? Thank you. It means I’m doing my job.
  • 50 Shades of Stupid, I mean, Grey is coming out this weekend.  And the stupid articles are aplenty.  I just read one where the director said that it is a story about female empowerment.  Uhm, no it is not.  Someone with no BDSM experience – no interest in BDSM – being coerced into a D/s relationship? No one in the BDSM community would say that is empowerment.  Empowerment is knowing this is what I like and needs – and going into a relationship of that power dynamic because you know and trust that other person and their skills.  As a bottom who won’t even play with someone I have not seen in another scene, I cannot imagine it is empowering throwing myself headlong into a full on D/s relationship with contract where my only source of info is from a person the dominate had said I can ask.  Yeah, not empowering – stupid.  Another article I stumbled upon talked about how they created the “red room” aka his dungeon.  It went on about how they had to search high and low for the right kind of ropes to use in the scenes – but ultimately found them from a place in England.  Are you kidding me?  I’m sure the rope makers in the US are happy you did that – and are spreading that around.  This was after they rambled on about how many professionals they consulted with.  I read the article because I was hoping to see they had engaged with the good people in the kink community – the educators and the leaders.  Not getting the impression they have done that.  I am hoping that kink communities around the country (and world) take this movie as a chance to open up lots of newbie education classes instead of boycotting it and picketing it.  This is truly a teachable moment.  I hope we all step up and educated vs shun. And not-shun is important because, as someone who used to host at a kink event held at a swinger’s club, I heard lots of kinksters shunning the “vanillas” instead of taking 2 minutes and explaining why you don’t do certain things.
  • I am at work today only because I’m really sick of being in bed.  So I thought I’d try this upright thing for a while.  Not sure it is a good idea.  So many people are sick – out for a week or more, in some cases.  But, as I’m finding out, I am surrounded by sick people who refuse to stay home.  My boss is even fighting something and is pissed because he knows exactly who gave it to him – the VP of Finance who refuses to stay home despite the fact she is horribly ill and has been for the past 5 days.  We are all like “stay the fuck home if you are sick” – yet we seem to be surrounded by martyrs who believe the world will end if they are home sick.  While yes, I’m not 100% and am at work, I am skipping all of my meeting today and doing lots of paperwork, if you will.  I may end up back at home though. I’m only happy that it is happening this week as it is my crazy slow week thanks to the financial close.
  • On a more positive note, we totally fucked with DJ last night.  We got her report card for her first semester in high school.  We were worried about the impact the girl friend may have had on it – just in terms of was she keeping up her grades like they were pre-girlfriend.  The kid did awesome.  She has easily hit honor roll for her first semester.  What’s great is that a few of her teachers wrote extensive comments on her report card.  Why is that notable? High School teachers have so many students that they normally don’t have time to write comments to everyone.  A teacher taking the time is a good indication of how they truly feel about the students – they are worth the time.  G fucked with her so badly though.  But she knew we were teasing her because she knew what most of her grades were before we got the report card.  So good to see her rocking the good grades – and ever more awesome to know that the reason she is rocking the grades is because she thinks beyond black and white.  She thinks – she asks questions – she learns more, etc.  It’s why a few teachers said she was awesome to have in class.  I like that.
  • I have 3 of my 6 art shows for 2016 booked already.  It’s fucking incredible.  I like that I’ve cleared out the backlog of people clambering for a show that I can start booking people right away. I’m also happy that people are beating down my door to show over a year or more away. Good stuff.
  • We have the whole “buying property” thing on pause right now.  Thanks to the fucked up collapse of the mortgage system years ago, there are a shitload more rules around lending for certain types of properties.  So even though we are on paper and in reality a good risk – the “new rules” don’t care.  How ironic is that? In the past they threw money at anyone with a heartbeat. Now they won’t give it to people even if they are more than good for it.  It’s all fucked up.
  • I am continually counting my blessings of having two men in my life who just want to take care of me especially now that I’m sick. I wish I had a good answer to give when they ask what they can do.  I’m such a bad sick person.  But knowing I have two men who love and care about me and worry about me – well, it may sound like such a simple thing to be grateful for, but as I go through this life, I am realizing how truly rare and special that is.  While being poly is not always easy for a multitude of reasons, I find it worth it.

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