I can’t help it. I am smiling. I keep catching myself grinning when I remember a bit of our evening together. I smile, the energy washes over me and I grin some more.

I have missed him so very much. I knew it at the time but my heart keeps whacking me with the fact it was much more than I realized. Then I smile.

Last night, things would happen where I would do something, and he would give me this look that read ‘god you know me too well’. Or I would do something, he would pull me closer as I moved away just a bit, and I would grin at the fact it was clear this was right.

The sense of peace and happiness – the continued joke about the old habits creeping in – they all make me grin – make me glow – and to a certain extend, bring tears to my eyes as I think about how much I have missed this – missed him.

I told him if something hadn’t happened the way it had with my mom, I was going to ask him to go with me to take care of some things. “I would have in an instant”, he confirmed. I know – wow, do I know. Funny how commitment to help didn’t change.

It’s funny when this song played last night – I could feel his response to it though I was likely having my own. The first line says it all.

I am so glad we shared it together. And we both have smiles today. I hope this feeling lasts until we can recharge it. Regardless, I’m locking this feeling away.