I feel like I should write, but I don’t know what I should say. Lots of words bouncing around my head and in my heart. Just don’t know if they should come out.
Yesterday was a weird day in so many ways. A rollercoaster of my life, I swear. Fuck, who am I kidding, it’s been a weird week.
I guess some of it simple – when people around me are stressed, upset, or not happy – it’s hard not to let it rub off on me a bit. There are some times I can shield myself from the onslaught; there are other times when it blindsides me. When I am expecting one thing – and another thing happens.
I reminded myself last night that expectations are the root of all evil, or I feel like that is what the phrase should be.
It’s hard. It’s hard when someone you love vents and rants and likely says something you know in your brain they don’t mean – but in your heart, well, your heart whispers “maybe they do mean it”. It worries – it aches with worry – and no matter how your brain tries to smush it, tries to be louder – your heart makes sure you feel it, if not, hear the whisper of doubt.