I like Lance.  I like what he has had to overcome to get back to the athlete he is today.  It’s a great story. He’s a great guy.  I don’t want him to be guilty.  I have said this many MANY times that I don’t want him to be guilty.  While I am a self proclaimed cynic, I want there to be great people in the world – great people who are simply great by who they are – not by what they use, who they use, or what they have.  They have raw talent that is molded into something great.  And then, they use their greatness for something good. I want that.  But it seems like the cynicism around sports these days is that if they are ubber great it must mean they are using something ubber great to be make into that start.  Everyone must be using something.  I hate that.

We need to have people to believe in.  We need to look at someone who overcomes odds and does great things on a bike (in this case) then does great things off the bike (Livestrong).  We need heroes who understand what it is to be heroes.  We need that.  I need that.  I need it because it takes the edge off my cynicism.  It shows me that there can be that perfect moment.  I want Lance to be one of those people.

He gave up.  He didn’t admit anything but he decided enough fighting was enough.  He showed the characteristics that made me like him in the first place.  I don’t believe he is guilty.  I believe he happened to be a good guy who is being targeted by cynics who have long since given up on the idea that there can be good people out there that can do amazing things.

He is a class act.  I will always support him.  And I hope that the day never comes when they disprove his innocence.  I find it ironic that in a country where you are innocent until proven guilty that there exists an organization who can force someone to prove their innocence when the hard concrete evidence says he is innocent.  I want it to remain that way so that people always question what happened.  And through that questioning, change occurs.

Because change does need to occur.

And while I’m on rants about famous people, can we move on from Kristen Stewart and her betrayal of Robert The Boy Toy?  He is sad.  She did something stupid.  And let’s not forget, like most of the public, that the director also cheated ….on his wife.  For a country the values “the sanctity of marriage”, it is ironic that we aren’t stringing that guy up. Instead we go after the young actress.  Can we all eat a pint of our favorite Ben and Jerry’s ice cream – and move on?

What is up with all of the fucking shootings lately? Are there more major shootings or is the media just keyed into them?  Seems like a day can’t pass without people being shot -in major places.  Can we all wage some fucking peace already?

G killed a possum the other day.  It was trying to get into the chicken house – it had gotten into Chicken Traz already, so he went out to chase it away.  Imagine if you will – G, in only a kilt, wearing a headlamp, firing a bb gun in an effort to chase it away – at 2am.  I should have taken pictures.  Ironically and likely illegally, my Buddhist husband killed the possum – with a bb gun.  Cue banjo music.

I’m just happy given where in the city we live that he wasn’t shot.

After three repair people, our dishwasher has been fixed. It broke right before I got laid off a year ago.  A repair guy decided he couldn’t fix it -declared it to be an electrical problem (thus OUR problem) and left.  We did our checking – verified he had been smoking crack, and called a new repair guy.  Who – after two days – gave up.  He referred us to another guy who got it working in 10 min.  The girls are thrilled as they are no longer being forced to stand in for the broken dishwasher.

I have a guy friend in the kink community I am trying to sort out.  He and I are definitely friends.  No question there.  And we have had some pretty hot scenes together.  On my birthday, he started and ended the birthday spankings – then let me lay in his lap as I came down from my high.  We just seem to have a good energy between us.  A month ago, he expressed to me at a party that he was upset I was leaving.  He had wanted a scene with me but the timing didn’t work out.  We talked back and forth – and it was clear he was kinda shy about things.

After not being around for things for the past 2 weeks, I get a three line note from him checking up on me.  It was sweet.  I went to the munch this past week – and he heard my laugh, and was with me for the rest of the time we were together.  He – out of the blue – grabbed me by the hair and kissed me – not once, but three times.

I was in a crappy mood from my day – and he had lifted it.  I sent him a note of thanks – and he told me he was happy I was there – he had been missing me.  I am trying to let this go as it goes, but lord does he make me feel good – both in and out of scene.  It is clear we have chemistry. I’m just hoping I can play it right as I think we can have some great fun together.

I should mention that his partner loves me.  This isn’t true for everyone he plays with.  Either she is indifferent or can’t be around when they play.  With me, she gives me big kisses on the lips and will stand with her arm around me while we talk.  Yeah, that could be a fun exploration.

Wonder how my dad would feel if I used his “speak it into existence” belief on this.

Oh, and tantra….I’m taking a class.  Can I recommend it to anyone who has ever wondered about it?  I am amazed at what I am learning.  I credit the teacher.  But as a skeptic of a lot of things (hello – look at what I do for a living – I deal in the tangible), I am amazed by what I am learning. It makes sense.  It’s great stuff.  And it’s good in terms of understand how your energy can effect others and visa versa.  While that concept seems simple, I find most people are more concerned about the energy others bring than they are about their own energy.

And on that note, I will be at the beach tomorrow.

Sun….sand…..the ocean……i’ll be in heaven.