I was going shopping with a friend. At least, she felt like a friend. She was not a person in my own life that I know – but she was nice and sweet and caring and all of those things that friends are.
I needed a new pair of shoes and a black dress. I told her I was looking for heels – a particular height with a particular heel – but something that would look good with the dress. I was even considering a pair of shoes that were not necessarily black. Why not go for some color was my thought.
We walked through the huge store which was our destination – talking and looking at the dresses and shoes. I wanted to walk through and look first – see what caught my attention – then decide what to try on. We did just that – walked, talked, laughed at some of the things we found, made notes of other things, etc.
When we got to a particular point, she started choosing my shoes for me. Not suggesting, per say, but actually telling me what to get. And her choices were not meeting my specifications.
“But I wanted heels,” I would point out.
“These shoes are trendy and sexy and perfect. You don’t want heels,” was her reply.
While what she was choosing was good for particular situations and were neat and trendy and all of that, they were not what I was looking for. They did not meet my needs in this particular situation. But she would not hear of it.
Trying not to be too pushy, I suggested we look at a few different dresses that caught my eye.
As we walked through the store again, she sort of did her own thing leaving me to shop solo. It was odd, but after the shoe situation, I was fine with it. As I went back, I could not find what I was looking for. Nothing felt right – nothing looked right – nothing quite fit the way I wanted them to. And I was searching for something – I wanted something that may work. I was not keen on keeping this search going figuring it was better to have something than nothing.
But nothing was all I kept ending up with. I had no dress. I had no shoes. My friend was MIA which was both good and bad. (What’s the use of having a friend who will not listen and keeps pushing what they want onto you instead of helping?) And I was frustrated.
This the dream I had last night.
Do I understand it? Now I do. It’s funny how when you write it out, think about recent events in life, you realize that you do truly understand what your mind is trying to sort out.
In my case, I have some people who care about me who want to see me handle things their way instead of my own. While they conceptually know what I want, they don’t necessarily believe they would want the same thing in my situation. As a result, there are times where I feel they are trying to get me to do it or see it their way instead. I am being forced into a pair of shoes I do not want – they don’t fit – they aren’t what I need, etc.
While their hearts are in the right place, I wish they would see my needs instead of projecting their own onto me.
Makes me both love and hate having times when I don’t have to deal with them and theirs because either way it is incredibly lonely.