When we are in synch, we are in synch – like amazingly in synch.
Like on the same page, on the same line, and on the same word – in synch.
Like know what the other is thinking even without a word.
It’s like a perfectly choreographed dance.
It’s a good feeling.
But when we are off beat with each other…..we are REALLY out of synch.
I know for sure when this has happened when phrases such as “they’ll be by about 5ish and are bringing dessert” finally raises the topic that G had invited friends for dinner without telling me.
Ok – to be fair, he thought he told me.
But, he mentioned their coming in context of helping with the engine in the bus, not in terms of “and they are staying for dinner”.
Yesterday, at 11am, right as I’m about to walk out the door with DJ to her taekwondo training, I discover this.
I was far from happy with this discovery.
Friday night, the girls has a sleep over – each having a friend over.
Saturday morning was Indigo’s birthday party with her friends.
Saturday during the same party is DJ’s training.
After that, the engine installation was scheduled.
Now there is dinner with friends.
Followed by a wonderful Sunday where he was to attend a comic book show.
As I pointed out to G, at what point was he going to tell me that there was a dinner needing to be made. And where in this schedule is the promised “nap” as I recover from the late night with four fighting girls followed by a morning with even more fighting? Toss in the fact that the house was going to need to be picked up between him yanking stuff out of his car and the girls, and my afternoon had just been defined for me.
What ends up happening in these scenarios is a few things. G tries to remedy the situation by going to extremes. He’s the one that didn’t communicate, so he starts planning and replanning things to fix the problem. Classic guy thing.
The problem with this approach and me is that the fix is usually a bandaid. I want the core problem fixed. The fact he didn’t talk with me before making the plans that involved me. So when he throws out how he’s going to fix it by pretty much digging himself a deeper hole, it rarely helps. We just get further out of synch.
What I think makes it harder for me is wondering how it happened. How did this pendulum swing from one extreme – one positive extreme – to this one?
Like anything in a relationship, I know this too shall pass.
Just makes for a long few days until it does.