For Better or For Worse


The last few weeks have been hell.  Like I posted last weekend, I have been feeling personally lost. Not sure how exactly to understand and interpret the news we got. Not sure how to approach the subject with people. And, a personal mourning of sorts – wondering what next for me. How will this impact things? And not being happy that it will impact things.

I often shake my head and roll my eyes at the change averse. The people who see the change coming and sort of cover their ears with their hands, close their eyes, and say “la-la-la” over and over again trying to pretend they can’t see it or hearing it coming. Trying hard to fight against that last week was…well, hard. Trying to face it dead-on while not letting it be an anchor around my neck was very hard.

I hate waiting. I hate surprises. I hate waiting.

And during it all, Garbanzo has proven, once again, why I married him.  Letting me obsess. Letting me have time to relax – not deal with things.  Just being exactly what I need right now.

And the last several days, he has really started trying to remind us both what normal was — what normal is. It was yet another thing I needed – we needed.  Normal.

It’s funny how things in life will pop up and seem like these huge elephants that park themselves right into the middle of the living room making them the center of all thoughts and conversations. And how one dedicates a significant amount of time trying to figure out how to deal with it. How to address it being there.  But when you step back, you realize they are simply dragon flies. Big flying things that zoom in, out of nowhere, grab your attention, but in the end, are larger than the usual things buzzing around, but nothing to really spend a lot of thought on long term.  Because even though it will be hanging around, it isn’t an elephant.

And Garbanzo, he’s really good at reminding me of that.
(And reminding me to eat and sleep – two things I don’t do when stressed.)
It’s why I love the guy.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Osbasso says:

    You’re still waiting?

  2. Beryl says:

    When I get in this kind of headspace it always reminds me of the warning in rearview mirror:

    “Caution, items in mirror may appear closer than they are.”

    Or am I getting that backward? Dunno, but I get what you are saying. I do the food and sleep thing when struggling with something.

    I always feel a little sheepish when the time passes and I see that maybe it wasn’t as large IRL as it was in my head ’cause it sure the hell didn’t seem like that at the time.

  3. It’s great to have a partner that “gets” you. Glad he’s able to be/do what you need right now. 🙂

  4. Hubman says:

    You’re fortunate to have a man like him around!

  5. Maggie says:

    You’re lucky to have someone like that. 🙂

  6. Garbanzo is an awesome guy! I hope things look up for you soon.

  7. It’s nice to have it proven to you why you chose someone in the first place. A very fortunate thing to both have, as well as to recognize and appreciate.

  8. Ms Scarlett says:

    Reminds me of something my mom used to say when she was alive… This, too, shall pass.

    I find myself saying it a lot… it doesn’t just sound good, it’s really true…

    Hang in there…

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