“There’s so much joy in life,
so many pleasures all around
But the pleasure of insomnia
is one I’ve never found
With all life has to offer,
there’s so much to be enjoyed
But the pleasures of insomnia
are ones I can’t avoid”
Yes, I’ve now had insomnia since Friday night of last week. I think – I might sleep tonight…..maybe…..we’ll see. I mean, I am writing a blog post at about 10:30pm. Clearly I’m not exhausted because I haven’t collapsed yet.
As I told someone at work today, things would be so much better if my mind had an off switch. My mind just keeps going over things. A lot of it is simply the fact I have several ongoing nagging things in my life that just won’t fucking go away. And I have pretty much a very VERY limited number of people I can talk to about it. So, I’m kinda stuck in my head. More stuck than I realized I guess. Monday as I waited for the train in the wind and cold and rain with my earphones in listening to whatever it was on my iPhone, a random guy stopped and asked if I was gonna make it in this wind and all. It took me a second to understand what he was talking about – and that was my give away. I smiled – and said I was. Wished the wind would stop blowing and the sun would come out. I’m sure that’s not helping either.
Work has been insane lately too. I have a consultant onsite for the project. So, I have to babysit him – and sit through 6-8 hours worth of meetings each day. On top of it, I now have an executive meeting I have to present at Thursday. I’m actually happy to present the info because the way they present things is pretty round about in terms of how solutions. Drives me fucking mad. I believe if you present info in the right way – the solution that is the right solution will pop out as the obvious one. People can be so fucking afraid to make a decision.
Or they over think a decision…..
For example, today while discussing the setup of a contract in a system, they decided they wanted to have a way to set a contract type so they can do financial analysis by that parameter. Ok – cool. There are four types of contracts – set it in a user defined field. Nope. Can’t do that because we don’t want to fat finger it. This took them down the space of customizing the application or creating a difficult and convoluted accounting structure to give this reporting possibility. The consultant is just sitting there entertained – and not in a good way. I finally point out the obvious – there are three people entering the contracts a few times a year. If they fat finger it, it will show up in other ways. We’re talking less than 100 contracts. Who fucking cares. Audit it after the fact – don’t worry about preventing it upfront because the solution is going to take longer to explain to someone than simply going in and manually fixing the typo.
The response: OH, Yeah!
My response: That twenty minute of my life I am never getting back.
And yes, every fucking decision is like this one. It doesn’t help that this company has bastardized terms that in real companies means something totally different than how they are using it. So I spend time in these discussions trying to derail their train of thought on the path to nowhere – so that I can interject that their definition and ours are not the same. After 20 more minutes of me saying this over and over and over again, someone finally goes “you know – I don’t our definitions are the same.” Yes, they are still alive. For now.
I can home last night to my parents arriving at my house. (It was my birthday Tuesday) So they decided to come visit. My dad said to me last night that after spending the week with us, he realized that they came out here to be with their family – and he’s fucking it up. And if they aren’t going to do that – they may as well go back to Iowa. Only about nine months of saying this to him has finally gotten through to him. Hmm…noticing a trend. Anyway, we had a good time. I discovered my father is now addicted to Glee thanks to my husband making him watch episodes while he was here a few weeks ago. That was funny hearing him ask when it was on so we could watch it. It was a good visit. They left this Wednesday morning.
Ok – I’m going to go read and try to sleep now. My husband has been making fun of me as I misplace things. Like the Picture of the Day – almost didn’t happen because I couldn’t find the cable….for an hour. Yeah, I’m losing it.