Thinning the Herd

A week ago, I was sitting at my desk wondering if that metal edged ruler would actually kill him. While it would be hard work, I was willing to do it for everyone’s sake. I mean, he was creating more confusion then help. Why not remove the source? Like a cancerous mole that needs to be cut out to ensure there will be no spread.  Yep. This was the best course.
The problem was not only the fact he would be missed, but that people above him actually were listening to his craziness. Either my bullshit detector is sharper than most or he had some unseen value. I couldn’t figure it out. What was I not seeing?
Layer on top of this perplexity the fact I have a manager and his manager asking me to “save all emails to and from” this guy, and it does make one wonder what political game was going on. What mine field was I standing in the middle of? And was someone going to give me the map or was this a test? I finally in true Emmy fashion asked the question of my boss – no subtlty, no tip-toeing around it – I flat out asked. And I got an aswer that did not assure me one way or the other. The non-answer gave me affirmation. Yep, the guy needs to be taken out.
But, this week – a whole two days into this week – suddenly he has decided we are allies.
Whiplash, anyone?
I spent two hours with him – an impromptu meeting. An impromptu meeting I dreaded, but I learned a few things.
1. The guy has realized no one is understanding him.
2. The guy also realized that everyone was confused.
3. The guy realized that he needs someone to help him.
4. Guess who he’s decided is going ot help him? Yep – me.
Number 1 thru 3 are no shockers. The shock is more in the fact he realized it – on his own – and fretted about it over the weekend.
Just knowing he got to the point on his own, the guy just moved up a notch in my mind. Do not kill with the ruler, smack him along side the head with it.
Number 4 is also an interesting choice. I was basically hired by his peer who clearly doesn’t trust him. My job: spy and make him conform to IT standards. So, the fact he is trying to pull me onto his side is interesting. Clearly, he doesn’t know me that well yet. But he will. Bwahaha!  I have found over the years in my various IT roles that I always get people to a point where they both love AND hate me. I see that in his future.
I spent two hours with the man. And, during that time, I realized for an accountant he doesn’t understand some accounting concepts that are like basic intro-to-accounting stuff. I wondered if he was dumbing it down for my benefit until hs said something about payroll needing to subtracted and added to the GL. I said to him, well, you are cutting checks for payroll, that is cash going out of the business. And, if we billed those hours back to our customers, they will be paying us which means we have cash to add back into the business coffers. You could see the gears moving in his head as he processed my version of the cash flow. Then he went, “yeah, that’s what happens.”
I realized exactly why I wanted to kill him last week – he didn’t understand how his confused ramblings were being interpreted. So, I told him to which he replied “Oh, God, no! That’s not at all what I mean.”
At the end of the meeting, I told him this was actually very good info. I knew what he was saying. I went through what I had already written (last week) as goals for this project and how they will be achieved.  He was excited because it was exactly what he has been trying to say. We also talked through that he needed to think in terms of “crawl, walk, run” – and remind people we are learning to crawl. Stop talking about running. We’ll get there – we just have a couple steps before that point.
Tuesday morning, I created a draft of the information we talked through during Monday’s 2-hour meeting of fun. He made some minor lingo changes – then sent it to everyone with the comment at the end:

“If this is what she can come up with only being here a week, I can’t wait to see what she does after two full weeks.”

Love the flattery, but it still doesn’t mean I won’t change my mind and want to kill him again. I just means he lives another week.

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Secretia says:

    I so dislike getting into politics on the job, it makes for a lasting feeling of uneasiness.

  2. No rulers. Then the CSI people will come and find you. Just poison his coffee.

  3. Just me... says:

    If you can avoid it, try not to kill him at work.. The paperwork is a bitch! 🙂

  4. 13messages says:

    Seems like he’s got some survivalist skills kicking in.

  5. Loverboy says:

    Very much enjoying your blog!
    One of our fav reads.

    Loverboy & Alabaster Legs

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