Warning Labels

I realized recently when meeting someone new that I spend a lot of time warning them of how I am. Face-to-face, people get me.  But, in texts and chat and email, I can’t gauge the reaction – I can’t see if they got the joke or if were offended.  It is almost as if someone who meets me should first read my warning labels.  And, yes, I said labels – plural. 

My warning labels are not meant to be an excuse for bad behavior on my part.  I do have bad behavior periodically – but some of me being me can occasionally take people by surprise. Many times it is because I’ve been told I look very innocent and nice. Going into a situation where someone is judging me as one thing, but get another can be eye opening. I find it might be best to warn people ahead of time, so I don’t have to wonder if it is surprised good or surprised bad. (Yes, I’ve encountered both – and the people who fall in the latter category don’t usually stick around long which is probably for the best.)

Here is what my warning labels would be:

These responses may come quickly which means Emmy’s filter between her brain and her mouth is off. 
(I know – this one is shocking for a lot of people who know me.)

Another shocker, I know.

Or it could solicit a response where you should refer to warning #1.

This is the one that usual gets me into trouble really. And usually causes me to have to apologize.

You will tell you what is one her mind if you annoy or bother her or if it is any day ending in the letter ‘y’. Emmy does not hide her feelings well or does she “fake it”. If you piss Emmy off, you will know it. This could surprise you given we live in a world with lots of passive aggressive people.  See Warning #4 as it often accompanies this one.

Blame my family for it. 

Other warnings:
I have the memory of an elephant. I will remember your stories or weird details about situations. Do not be afraid….unless you were really hoping I would forget that little slip about that time when you were 14 and you got caught with….never mind.

I rarely judge. I don’t walk in your shoes, so I will not judge you for what, who, or how you live your life. I may raise an eyebrow if say a 5-year-old can point out memorabilia from some scary ass movie I won’t even watch, but in the end, I believes people have to live with the consequences of their own lives just like she lives with hers. That being said, I will be the first one there to try to help if you try to change or suffer the consequences – and not in a codependent sort of way either.

So, I think I covered all of them.
Do you have any warning labels?

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh shit, we have all of the same warning labels. Seriously. That’s fucking awesome. I knew I liked you. 😉

    Though I would have to add a “impulsive” warning too because I tend to do things as soon as I think of them. Like the first time I went bungee jumping was clearly on impulse. And driving to a casino at 2 AM. And yeah, lol. I get ideas and go with them and sometimes later, I realize they weren’t such good ideas. =)

  2. I don’t have my own warning labels, but I could borrow most of yours and still be covered.

    You could add, “Warning! Chances are if you are whining, Veronica has tuned you out and is thinking about what she could be doing instead of listening to you bitch!”

  3. Vixen says:

    Wow. Um. You and I are the same person. LOL! I’m not blunt, that would be the only one not applicable to me. My memory drives my husband nuts. I remember intricate details of/about something but yet can’t ever remember a simple grocery list. Doh.

    I LOVE these!

  4. Just me... says:

    I am so stealing the first and third signs….

    And you? Blunt? Nooo…. :):)

  5. Dana says:

    Oh Emmy! Another wonderful post!

    I am stealing this one … maybe even for tomorrow … so you’ll have to visit me to see my warning labels!

  6. I love these…they could all pretty much work for me too 🙂

  7. garbonzo says:

    Jeez. I wish I would have known these things when I married you 😉

  8. Hubman says:

    For me, I’d start with stealing the first three of yours 😉

  9. Oh I love these labels and I love that you like the F word. That’s fucking great. And I like that your mind is in the gutter a lot. That’s a great place to meet like minded people like me.

    And Garbonzo cracks me up with his comment. . . as if he didn’t know these things about you. ha

  10. rage says:

    “Rage has the IQ of a lima bean”

    Love your signs!

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