Weird and Random

A couple of ongoing Twitters on Sunday started by Amorous Rocker and Britni, I believe, gave me an idea for a quick post.  They were doing tweets that said things that were either a question with multiple choice about their lives or a list of things where one is fake.

Gave me an idea for a post. We’ll call this weird, random things about Emmy. While it would be fun making everyone guess, it’s late & I won’t have a lot of time tomorrow to follow up and say who is right.  So, you get a list.

1. I only eat salad with a fork if I’m being polite (and I remember). I usually eat it with my fingers. I have no idea how that started, but I like to fold the lettuce in perfect bites. Almost like a lettuce wrap. It’s one of the quirks that Garbanzo claims to love about me. I never thought anything of this until Sasha, our favorite female playmate, pointed out that I was turning her on with the way I was eating it. That was a damn shame really!

2. When I’m having trouble falling asleep, Garbanzo knows because of the way I rub my feet together. I didn’t realize I did this until he asked one night why I couldn’t sleep. I asked how he knew, and he told me.

3. I stash things under my pillow in my bed. I’ll stash books. I’ll stash sex toys. In college, it was condoms. Whatever I wish to keep handy, I guess. Anyone visiting my bedroom can usually find something interesting there.

4. If you come into my house, you will usually find my shoes and socks up on top of something.  Our black lab has dominance issues -mainly that I’m the alpha and he is not. His revenge is to chew up all of my shoes.  And our yellow lab is obsessed with socks. He particularly loves my running and hiking socks because they are smart wool, I think. Because I do spend good money on those kinds of socks and my shoes, I put them where the dogs can’t get them.

5. I have a cyst above my right eye. It’s about the size of a pea. It makes that eye a bit smaller. If I bump it, it swells making people think I’ve got a black eye or that I’ve been crying.  I never notice it myself when it happens. I usually start getting questions from concerned people. The questions confuse me, then I realize it is the cyst. 

6. I have years of being a catcher in fast pitch softball to thank for the ability to pop all of my knuckles by just closing my hands. I’ve broken and/or jammed most of them. My senior year of college, I couldn’t type for a month because I had two broken fingers on my right hand. How did that happen to my glove hand? One of my pitchers had forgotten how to pitch, but she had became the master of the wild pitch. I learned if it got by it, it would stress her out even more and make it worse. (Not to mention the potential stolen bases that could be gotten by the other team.) So I would do everything I could to knock it down including reaching out and grabbing it with my right hand.

7. Food play is not allowed in our bedroom. If I ever gave a list of what was licked off of me, it would all be lies. I hate sticky. And while yes, I could shower after – it wouldn’t matter.  I don’t find it erotic.  I blame the year I worked at an ice cream shop for this one.  Serve sundaes topped with whip cream all day – the idea of covering someone in it and licking it off loses its appeal….or at least for me it did.

8. I may have violated some age of consent laws when Garbanzo and I had sex the first four months of our relationship. He was 17, and I was 18.  I think I could be accused of corruption of a minor as well as having carnal knowledge of a minor. But, then again, it was Iowa, so I doubt it would have applied to me – only him if our ages were reversed. But don’t quote me on that!

9. Garbanzo has to match my outfits sometimes. I do not know what goes together unless it is really obvious. It’s not that my mom made all of my clothes choices, but I am just missed that day at Girls’ School – where they teach girls’ about fashion.  Plus, Garbanzo is just more fashionable than I am.

10. My friend and I have an ongoing joke that there is a school where girls are taught how to be stereotypical girls. You know, hate math, be good at decorating, learn how to wear make up, be bad with directions, etc.  I tend to use the phrase “missed that day at girls’ school” to explain away why I don’t know something someone things I should simply because I’m female. We have decided we skipped too many days. How we got our girl card is beyond us.  Must be the fact we had “female” on our birth certificates. Who knows.

11. While I was dating this guy in high school, we got caught making out by a police officer 3 times. The first time, we had gone on a hike, gotten back to the car, and started kissing when the police officer knocked on the window and asked if “all parties were consenting”.  The second time, things were pretty hot and heavy when there was a knock on the window. The last time the officer knew the guy’s dad (who was a local sheriff). That last time was a bit embarrassing as his dad asked us a few days later what we were doing where we were.  Ironically enough, we broke up soon after that last time. I guess it was a message from the universe telling us to ‘break it up’ in a broader sense then just the making out.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. YOU, lady, are muy entertaining. Thanks for the chuckles this afternoon!

  2. Vixen says:

    Oooo, I loved this! All these random things about you. Very fun to read. 🙂

  3. I loved #11 , as if the universe’s “love police” were out to stop you. As a man, I might actually think that dating you or, at least making out would be a challenge here. I’d start trying to find as many ways to get caught as possible. ‘Let’s see if we can get approached a 10th time’? and ‘How many police can we attract with our making out?’ 🙂

    #6 Just sounds painful. Ouch. This happens to me in basketball still. Not broken just sprained and irritable.

  4. Just me... says:

    You know that anyone who reads this and visits you will have an overwhelming desire to see what’s hidden under your pillow!!!!
    Great list!! :):)

  5. If I had a cyst, I’d name it Marla Singer. Or Mandy.

    You didn’t steal this from them you stole it from me. And I stole it from Ms. Undecided. Excepts it’s not Wednesday….hmmmm

    My buddy and I got busted doing nitrous balloons in a car once. I’m pretty sure the cop thought we were making out and didn’t want to see what we hid under the front seat and just gave us a no stopping ticket. Woot! Homophobia saved me!

  6. Amen to number 7 I have no intrest in food on me at all! NOT SEXY 🙂

    The closest I have come to that is cherry flavored lube….

  7. frances says:

    what a great read. i love when people do these. makes bloggers more personable. makes me almost feel like i know you. i think i’d really like to see you eat salad some time. 😉

  8. frances says:

    what a great read. i love when people do these. makes bloggers more personable. makes me almost feel like i know you. i think i’d really like to see you eat salad some time. 😉

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