New Activities, New Characters

Okay, Derek, this is your last chance to stop reading the blog.  You have been warned. 🙂

Over the past several months, our lives have had a few more characters added into it as a result of our venturing into “The Lifestyle”.  So, it is time to “come out”, as it were. We are swingers.  There.  I said it. 

I told the story a week or so ago about our almost foursome in college.  Our fantasies and such go that far back in our relationship….that would be 15-16 years back for anyone counting.  But, about six months ago, we decided to “take the talk out of the bedroom”, as Garbanzo so elegantly put it.

We had a lot of discussions about taking this step….a LOT of discussions. This was a huge deal. We could be putting our relationship on the line if we weren’t truly ready to do it, and if we both were not on the same page. Or if our communication was not at its all time best.

Our conversations were around everything but mainly understanding and agreeing upon boundaries in terms of us as a couple.  I mean, it is one thing to know your own personal kinks and boundaries, but the couple as a single entity needs to define the same things. What is the couple willing to do. What we would or would not do in bed with another person or couple?  Defining what it meant for us to be “in the lifestyle”. All are very important things to get out onto the table and keep on the table for future discussions.  As you have experience and learn things, you may need to refine some of them and completely change others.  This conversation was just the beginning of things – there still is not an end in sight.  I mean, a lot of it has to do with how we are feeling about things at the time – what we want.

During these conversations, we created our rules –
1. We never play on the first date….except for that one time…..which was really fun….and, well, went so well that Sasha is now a regular. (See A Goodnight Kiss.)

2. Never take one for the team.  Never. Ever. Not a rule to be broken in our opinion.

3. Safe Sex is the only sex we have. (And we are not averse to adding additional precautions as necessary.)

4. Trust the gut. Even something that may seem relatively minor when you intellectualize it should not be ignored. I’ll explain more on that one later with a story.

5. We play together, or we don’t play at all.

We consider ourselves lucky to be honest.  We have found several people we have clicked with and who we see regularly.  Kids and inconsistent babysitters have caused this to be a challenge at times, but we are overcoming it. 

These new characters that have been brought into our lives as a result of the decision has been interesting and good.  They may…okay…will be trickling into stories here and there.  Some of the things that have happened have been hot – other things, not so hot. 

There could be the lesson of Rick and Carrie.  Might be some stories about Sasha (and maybe a picture or two).  And, I know there will be a story upcoming about X.  And, there will be some experiences that have no real story or no real players shared.  In those cases it is because we have either agreed not to share or we do not have consent to share.

So, why do I tell you all of this?  I suspect that I’ll be talking about one of those characters next week.  Let’s just say the trip in a week with my husband will likely have a story of two coming out of it.  I mean, Derek did get us a gift certificate to Babeland for our anniversary and trip. Oh, yeah, and I mentioned X, right?

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Congratulations on coming out. I look forward to hearing about your adventures.

  2. Congratultions!

    It’s so much easier to just come out with it then hide it…right?

    Can’t wait to read some of your adventures!

  3. my eyes they burn!!!! Oh well! you can just read it all to me!

  4. Vixen says:

    This was like watching a trailer for a really awesome show that I’m now dying to see. *sigh*

    Looking forward to hearing about some of your adventures.

  5. I don’t know a lot about the lifestlye, and it’s something that would freak Tater out, but as a woman looking from the outside in, i would think that #2 should be a mandatory rule. I know that everyone is different, but…i dunno…if you play together BOTH should be happy. KWIM?

  6. Cheeks says:

    Oh geez, here I already assumed you were swingers. But congratulations on taking this liberating step! And now we can all look forward to reading more about your adventures. Except poor Derek… who might be traumatized. 🙂

  7. now where are the punch and cookies? (ok bad joke referring to AA meetings… sorry) joking aside I truly am happy that you trusted us enough to tell. Hiding is the hardest part I think.

  8. bookbinder says:

    I think it’s great that you found the courage to open up like this. Now I look forward to all the great stories you’ll tell.

  9. Hubman says:

    Welcome to the party 🙂

    Now get on it with the stories!

  10. Just me... says:

    Great rules..
    And like Cheeks – I kinda figured it was already out there..
    But, congrats on going public!! :):)

  11. rage says:

    I must be an idiot because I had no idea. However, I must say congratulations and as long as you and G have your ground rules set out than it’s all good.

  12. Have fun with X. (mmmmm ecstasy).

    Just dint turn into one of them sex bloggers. My interest in things being inserted into strangers waxes and wanes quickly. But my interest in beer never fails. :-p

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