I don’t do “nothing” well.  I have discovered this while at work this week.  I have nothing I can get accomplished due to people taking time off post-project, vendors not cooperating, etc.  So, I did a whole lot of nothing at work.  Then said fuck-it around 2-3pm each day and left.

The only scheduled thing on my calendar this week? Interviewing web manager candidates in place of my boss.  While I like the amount of faith she has in professionalism, it is still rather odd tossing a person who is about to be laid off into an interview process.  And, the good candidates all asked things like “what keeps you at the company”? 

The interviews were all good.  The first candidate who was okay – but not a good fit shared with me on our walk out what companies are hiring contractors.  I think I know a place that is hiring people with his skill set, so I may send them his way.

The last candidate was…..well…..I really don’t know what HR was thinking by bringing him in.  First off, his resume was a fucking mess.  I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out his rationale for things. He split his resume up into Professional Experience and Technical Experience.  I thought he had meant Management Experience instead of Professional ones (because I know a lot of highly technical people who are also Professional), but that didn’t hold.  I found inconsistencies between his education, for example, and the academic societies he belonged to.  And, in a few cases, I wondered why they were still listed.  I mean, 10 years ago, you won a spot in an academic society for criminology….but you’re applying for a web job?  Then he listed professional associations he has not belonged to in 8-9 years.  Again, those associations had nothing at all to do with his work history or the job he was applying for. 

My cohort and I walk into the interview.  She was supposed to be in there too, but HR forgot to include her so I made sure she was in all of them.  (Plus, she will be transitioning a lot of her work to them, so I think she should have a say in who it is.)  We meet this 5’9″ guy who is built like a professional body builder.  Like the big ones….the ones that can no longer truly put their arms by their side. 

This guy is nervous. I always ask them to take me through the high points of their work history because I like to see what they consider important.  I usually make a joke around it because I am aware of it being one of the worst things someone can do to you – so I acknowledge it in a lighthearted manner.  He answers it – voice shaking, shuffling of papers, shift in chair.  I start asking him other questions – nothing too hard.  For a couple of them, I’m encouraging his thought process in the answer because he is so nervous.

By this point, he’s sweating profusely.

Why?  Well, I believe he knew we would see his technical weaknesses.  We asked him about some of his experience around search optimization.  He starts answering the question, but then, in a jumble of words, he admits he was a minor player on the overall project and didn’t lead it like the resume said he did – and in fact, he was kicked off the project before it was done.

I would love to say this confession only happened this one time – but it happened at least 3 times after this first time.  We wrapped up the interview, thanked him for his time, and sent him on his way.  As the elevator doors closed, my cohort says,  “Were we really that scary? Because we scared the crap out of him.”  We both started laughing and discussing how we would be providing the feedback – a big fat NO. 

In case you were wondering, I was amply rewarded for winning the bet last night.  Being right never felt so good. 😉

I won’t tell the story or what I chose because I have promised Garbanzo to remove his face from my blog before sharing more ….face, not ass (in case some of you were worried).  Given his profession and the morality clause contained within his contract, he has requested that I remove his face if I start talking more about sex and other topics that could test that clause.  I know, teachers have sex…they should be able to have sex and not worry about repercussions if their spouses talks about it.  Sadly, that is not the way our society always works.  While I believe his principal would scoff at anyone trying to raise it to him, he is unfortunately not the norm out there.  At a time when education is under scrutiny and funding continues to be an issue, most districts are acting out the the interest of their own PR than what is fair and right.

A PSA from an IT Person:
Lastly, a friend and fellow blogger told me a story that made the IT person in me shake my head.  Blogs are cool, blogs are neat, reading them is good.  Be careful of what you read at work.  Assume IT is keeping tabs.  We likely are keeping tabs as a method of CYA for the company.  One concern about where you are spending your time can get HR to have us look at logs, look at your computers, etc.  And, they may start looking at the sites you visit.  Just takes one picture of boobs or one shot of a cock to make that usually tame blog into a “porn site”.  If you’d like to read at work, I suggest using a feed reader.  (And if your company uses Outlook, do not use the one built into that software – use a web one.)  Have a work laptop?  At home on your own network? Don’t fucking browse porn or other ‘questionable’ sites on it!  At the end of the day, no one is going to care if you did it on your own network or at work.  You used a work computer.  Not good.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!