Years ago, when my first born DJ was 4, I decided she could pick out her own clothes. It was after a nanny incident gone wrong where I learned afterward that she had taught my daughter that people would only like you if you were dressed a certain way. For her, this “certain way” for a 4 year old was to dress her in a dress or smart skirt/shirt combo everyday of school.
After firing the nanny for other reasons (I may do a post on that later because it was insane), I made this discovery. I was getting my daughter ready for school, and she sat down and cried because “no one would like her if she wore jeans.” Yep – confirmation I had made the right decision in firing the nanny.
From that moment on, DJ was responsible for choosing her own outfits. Yes, there are times where Mom and Dad get veto power (usually for family events), but generally speaking, I want her to be happy with what she is wearing. When Indigo got old enough, we implemented the same rule.
But, there are times when they choose outfits like these:
(which for the record was acquired as a dress-up dress – not to be worn outside of the house.) When I wonder, if I made the right decision. I mean, what must the other parents think?!
Thankfully, Garbanzo is a teacher at their school, so if they choose an odd outfit, he gets the guff.
Usually though, the parents and other teachers come up and praise us for letting the kids choose their own outfits. And Indigo has put together some pretty spectacular outfits so far this year. I like to believe the parents are envious of our bravery. In all likelihood, they are going home and cleaning out their kids clothes to ensure such an ensemble could every occur in their house.
I usually only see what they wore to school after they get back.
I am not sure I would have let them out the door in some of them.
But, the parenting goal has been accomplished. The girls define themselve more for who they are then what they wear.