Leaving My Mind – Not A Chance

I looked at the clock as I was wound around his body and realized it was time to go. Time to go….. That’s the horrible party of polyamory. I feel like I’m leaving people both ways – leaving him alone – leaving him in a place of wishing I could stay- leaving. Leaving because my kids will…

Wishing To Stay

G used to joke that we needed to purchase several acres of land to live on.  And, we would build multiple houses on it where people we care about can live with us.  The idea is that we would build our own neighborhood filled with people we wanted to see everyday. Since we have become…

Reaching in Dreams

I remember waking at about 2am.  2am is the time I always wake, or so it seems.  Being at the beach was no exception. So at 2am, I am laying there, thinking about how great the weekend had been – thinking about much I still missed SB.  No distraction seems to remove the feeling that…

Silencing the Voices

“You are gorgeous. You are erotic. You are worth it.” I don’t recall if those were his exact words, but it doesn’t matter. He said something similar. He also said that he knew others had told me otherwise – made me feel otherwise – but that was bullshit – that was not me. I tried…

Half Time

“Fred misses you.” “I’m sure he does.” “He does. He told me.  You should come into my bedroom and bend over my bed so Fred can tell you how much he misses you.” “Mmmmm….” “Come with me, plus it’s half-time….” He took my hand to help me up off the couch, then turned down the…

Flashbacks While Shopping

“Let’s have Vietnamese Lettuce Wrap thingies this week,” I suggested while we were grocery shopping. “Sure.  I’m going to the butcher counter for chicken and bacon.” I grabbed the stuff I needed.  Cilantro, lettuce, scallions, carrots…. Then I turned to the next bin…. I needed ginger. A knob of ginger. As I sorted through the…

Three Years Ago

Three years ago, I woke up in his arms. We had come back to my house from a kinky New Year’s Eve party.  It was late; we were high on the energy of the night.  I invited him to stay the night with me. I remember vividly, standing in my living room, our arms wrapped around…

Words That Make Me Feel

Words that express how I feel better than me….   There are some people in your life that just feel like home.  Home feels familiar. Home feels comfortable.  Home feels like a place where you can be you – it is safe – it is good – it is true. I am blessed to feel…

Climax and Tears

We went to see the new Star Wars film in a movie theatre connected by a brew pub.  It’s a neat theater with a balcony and great seats and sounds.  Plus beer and theater delivery of food.  Our joke was that our Christmas dinner was going to be burgers and beers and truthfully, it was….