A Poly Complication?

A friend of mine asked me a question yesterday – out of the blue: do you find that marriage complicates poly After reading it,  I breathed for a moment as the urge to smack him (he’s married) was too great.  I was a bit annoyed that he would phrase it as such – as though…

Poly is Hard

Being poly is hard. If anyone has ever thought it was easy, I’m sorry for sending the perception.  I guess I am good at making it look easy sometimes.  But it is hard having multiple people in your life you love and care for tremendously and wishing you can put everyone first while realizing there…

Open Relationship Advice to a Reader

I received a comment/question the other day from a reader.  It was on an older post, and I could not find his email address, so I figured I would address it here.  His comment goes like this: “I’m navigating an open marriage. My wife has been pleased with her prospects, for me, every time I…

Open vs Poly

SB has had an interesting introduction to poly. Or rather, an interesting introduction of how poly can be confused with open as though they are the same thing.  While they can be the same, for example, G and I are open but poly too.  When we were swinging, however, we were only open.  Poly was…

A Road Less Travelled – Reflections

As my daughters and I walked through the field, a recently worn path made into the tall grass made the words I was forced to learn as a 7th grader come back to me: Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down…

How to Fuck-Up an Open Relationship without Really Trying

I’m watching a lot of self-destruction happening lately in relationship that are open relationships. So I figured why not make a list of what I’m seeing.  If you recognize yourself in this list and you are “open”, you may want to reconsider. 1. Lie.  Simple enough.  Don’t be honest about what you are doing.  Omit…

Open Relationship Drama

Friday, I tweeted the following: Advice to people in open relationships: you can still cheat especially if you FUCKING LIE to both the spouse & other person.#dramasucks People speculated why I was saying it.  Now you get to hear the story. Once upon a time, I was at a kink event where I heard “Hey,…

Open Marriages Don’t Work….

The only way I would agree with that statement is if you add:  …..if you’re marriage already has problems.  But even that part is not universally true. Sadie recently posted about her and her husband’s decision to separate. On Twitter later that day, she commented that open marriage didn’t cause the split.  I recently was…

The Lizard

I have heard a few times jealousy being described as a primitive lizard that dwells in a cave in your brain.  You never really realize this lizard lives there until something doesn’t sit well, and it comes out of its cave, clears its throat, and makes its presence known. And when it makes its presence…

Outed to a Friend

My friend and I had just emerged from relaxing in the couples lounge. We had come early to help setup for the kink party at the local swingers club and laid in the couple’s lounge talking until the action started picking up. She had made a bee line for a friend she had seen. Her…