Muscle Memory

Muscle Memory is the phrase my daughter uses to describe how her body takes over a task – even if my mind doesn’t think she can do it.  Her body does that because her body has done it so many times that it is no longer something she can think about – she just needs…

Sick, Tired & Annoyed

I hate today. I have been seriously looking forward to tonight for a week – when SB and I could reconnect and be together, curled up on his couch, sipping good alcohol, then wrapping around each other in his bed.  It has been the bright point in my week all week. Then I woke up…

Squeeze Me

For the new teen’s final birthday event, G got us all tickets to see Ain’t Misbehavin’ at a neat theater in downtown Portland.  It was an old armory that sat sort of vacant for years until someone bought it and converted it into this amazing modern theater.  The architecture that went into the inside is…

A Reflection On Blogging, Life, Change & Other Random Shit

I’ve been feeling like a bad blogger recently.  I do Motivational Monday quite consistently – but that’s about it.  I have many MANY started blogs – but when I go back to finish them, I can’t help but feel like I want to keep some of those thoughts to myself as I wrote them to get…

Words That Found Me

Amanda Palmer just released the video of her interview at the Boston Book Fest.  She is interviewed by her husband which makes for an interesting watch.  During the interview, her friend comes on stage as a guest to ask her a few things and the talk turns to the love between Amanda and Neil.  She…

Ocean and Daddy Time

        I think the title summarizes my last three days.  Me, SB, the ocean – and a lot of time together……ahhhhhh! The details are our memories. We had a lot of great conversations. We drank a lot of great wine.  We explored this little coast town a bit more. It took several…

Being Seen

“I know who you are – I see you.” Powerful words. For some, they may be complexed. But for someone who does their best to hide feelings – and keep myself a half step away from people figuring me out – it’s a big deal. I see you. Fuck. And yay! And fuck again. To…

Out of Whack

My biggest challenge as someone who identifies as polyamorous is keeping my love whole while keeping my other love – and myself – whole. I think sometimes that people who are polyamorous are looked at as people who have it all together. And some days, I feel I do.  And some days, I feel like…

Love and Truth

and at the same time, realizing that they are doing the same for you. I am blessed…..and even in that, it is an understatement. What a rough place to be….  

Worth and Relationships

Years ago, I dated someone who seemed to be a good kinky fit. Things progressed and friendship combined with kink seemed to evolve yet devolve.  I was put in many situations that, now, I realize were fucked up.  While in many cases, men will sometimes lament that women are trying to change them, I realize…