Subdued. Shocked. Sad. Yesterday while at home trying to kick this crud that I caught, I got text after text after text from a cohort. I was half asleep when it started, so I tried ignoring it until it become clear I needed to call. I checked my work emails first to see if there was a hint there as to why he kept texting me. "It is with immense sorry that I share with you that we just learned our team member Jane has passed unexpectedly" was the preview of the email in my inbox. I quickly dialed my cohort. Jane was a member of my team. Details are few. She was supposed to travel for a family event yesterday morning. When she did not arrive and was not answering her phone, they asked for a wellness check – and that’s when they found she had passed. The entire team and the company is in shock. She had been here a long time and was part of so many committees and all. Today, people keep bringing flowers and other things to her desk. And our area goes from inappropriate laughter back to stunned silence in a heart beat. Last night, she showed up in a dream I was having. Her appearance did not make sense for the dream. I stopped whatever was happening and just told her I was sorry she was gone too soon – sorry she couldn’t see her family one last time. She just looked at me with her half smile like she always would do at work and said, "it’s all good – it’ll be what it is and it will be fine". Yep, that was how she was in life – "it’s all good"
Sick. On top of it all, I’ve been fighting a nasty cold. I tried to take a down day yesterday but, well, see the above. Hopefully this weekend I turn the corner on it.
Trying to find patience. We are awaiting official notification of a change that will occur in our household. It can happen now at any time. We need it to happen, so I have my fingers crossed it happens soon. Yes, I’m being vague. Hopefully I won’t have to be soon.
Oh and on top of it all, it’s snowing again. Off and on.