Friday Feelz

This week has been a crazy one. Three full, I mean FULL days at a work conference.

Yesterday, I spent the day getting the house pulled together for our walk through with the state today.

Last night we spent 3hrs with foster training.

And today I get to spend the day finishing things in the house.

I feel good about the work stuff. I feel like the track I knew we needed to be on is the one we are one again. This time EVERYONE is on it vs a few of us fighting it.

I feel good about the house stuff even though it’s a shit ton of work. I decided to do a purge a few weeks ago that we’ve been doing room by room. That has been good. And it makes sense to do it as you are cleaning and organizing. Just didn’t plan on how much work that would take on top of a deep cleaning of the house.

We could have gotten away without the deep cleaning, but to be honest, I hate people in my space “judging me”. I work full-time. I volunteer for a few things. I have three animals in the house including a dog and two cats. (Ok, I shouldn’t call the teens animals but they feel like it sometimes.). Short of me being the czar of all things which I am in many ways already, I have to pick my battles. The floor being swept daily is not a battle I do. Mopping the floors during winter with a dog while living in the Pacific NW with all of the rain? Yeah, won’t happen until we have days where the dog can be tossed outside while the floors dry and she won’t track mud on them as she comes into the house again. Dusting? Hahahahaha. I’m doing all of these things because I don’t want a comment made about the floors or the dust. Even though I know that they are supposed to be looking at safety things – door locks, evacuation plans, smoke detectors, etc. I can’t turn off the old habits.

Despite the work though, there is a sense of calm that this is bringing me as I go through and toss stuff in the trash or goodwill bags. I currently have like 5 things for goodwill on the porch now and more will be coming soon. It’s a nice feeling.

Oh and another feeling – the school is starting to piss me off where the foster kid is concerned. I told G last night that I’m about ready to write them a huge education on trauma on teens and how they need to acknowledge that he is doing some things illogically but they make sense in his mind. Example, he started worrying in class about something. So he used the restroom pass to go make sure that the adults had resolved the issue as we had aimed to do. He was gone 10-15 min, so the teacher marked him absent. The school is now concerned about his cavalier attitude about staying in class. And school security wants his privileges revoked.

Here’s the issue. In his short time in life, adults don’t follow through especially on important things like food, shelters, safety, health things. The kid has had to take on those roles as mini-adult to find food, find warmth, figure out safety and worry about health. As adults we know how hard it is to change habits. As a kid whose lizard brain is wired to not trust adults because adults don’t do their job – it’s VERY hard to re-wire that brain. So, when there is something needing to be taken care of and especially when it is making him anxious – he figures out how to go make sure it was taken care of to resolve his anxiety. Even if the timing is poor. Add on top of the mix the fact that the school is cavalier with his needs, and he really feels compelled to do it. But hey, he should just be like every other kid. Yeah, I may need to make a training class for them.

Anyway on that note, I’m going to go get shit done and have another cup of coffee or three too.

Happy Friday!!

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