I know many people are posting this poem to honor Mary Oliver’s passing. This is one that has always spoken to me. It reminds me of my dad honestly. After he had his heart attack, he went on this journey of examining his life that lead him to believe all he had done needed to be repented for. He came to his children and apologized for our childhoods as though we got nothing good from them – as though it was shit because he was shit.
I remember looking at him repeatedly and saying "no one can be perfect all of the time – we are all human, Dad. Don’t apologize as though our childhood was crappy – because our childhood was overall great."
Whenever I read the first part of this poem, I think of that moment – of that conversation. You don’t have to be good. You don’t have to walk through the desert on your knees repenting. The world will continue – the world has continued with sun and rain moving over all things.
I’m finally feeling like I can exhale – as things seem to be on a great track with the foster kid home. I feel like I can sleep – I can stop holding the stress I have been holding for the past six weeks. It is a nice feeling of exhaling – but I’m realizing how much the stress has done to me.
I definitely need to recharge.
This weekend – this weekend, I will recharge.