I have had two artists drop out of the upcoming group erotic art show that I curate. One was like “I’m so so sorry – but I’ve been sick because I’m pregnant and….” I stopped reading there and replied with “go be pregnant. No bridges are burned – you should drop out of it you are in the sick stage. Please be well!!” Hey, I’m a momma. I get it. The body is going to do what it will do. The second one said nothing until I messaged her while waiting with a “so are you on your way….or….?” She had an emergency – if I needed her, she would come. I get she didn’t think about her art obligation because in certain emergencies, you won’t. But damn. Thankfully I have enough for this group show.
I shoot photos at a kink event each month. The event is held in more of a swinger space. I don’t say that to be derogatory. Fuck, I can’t be given I was the swinger that found the kinksters in the swinging scene. I only have love. At events at this venue, however, there is a handful of kink with a shit ton of watchers. Last night, we had about 30 watchers to every scene. There was no fucking. There was very little side play as they watched. It was all people crowding around whatever was happening and just watching. I was at this event until almost 2pm when it ends. Why? Because everything was causing the scenes to be disrupted enough that they dragged into the night. At one point, I started wondering what these people were getting from it all. People can be voyeurs. I get that. But how could most of the people in that space be voyeurs? I mean, I get seeing things and getting riled up to fuck. But last night, I’m not sure what they were looking for. Weird.
I had a dream where I was at a kink party. I was being beat on a spanking bench as others were too. As my ass was being hit, I felt fingers in my ass – in my cunt – bringing me closer and closer to a release. The pleasure and the pain just kept me on that edge – that delicious edge. I recall laughing and moaning and exclaiming as I was being beat – and watching others and feeling the pleasure build. Then……..then I woke up. I woke up on that edge of orgasm. I woke up breathing hard . I woke up with my cunt soaking and my clit huge. I woke up trying – of fuking trying hard – to push over that edge so I could cum . But I couldn’t. I tried – but I needed the pain – I needed the impact – I needed the stimuli……and that was not easily produced after my brain produced it all for me.
Tomorrow, we got to the school and fight with them about the foster kid. Something happened on Friday that they are attempting to use as an example as to why he should not be in a normal school. Problem? The kid is a strong A and B student. Until the last month or so, he has had zero issues in the past 3+ years. Yes, the foster kid was self medicating. I don’t deny that. But since he has been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. He goes to therapy 2+ times per week. He is on meds that keeps him from self medicating. And his biggest issue is self-harm — not harming of others. G and I have both caught the administration lying. Two different times, they have told us one thing only for use to get them to admit they are wrong. My foster kid had a foster mom before me. That foster mom worked at the school and would say rather routinely that he “just needs to get over it”……and he “shouldn’t expect anyone to give him special consideration just because he has gone through the stuff he has.” She has always told him many times to man-up because she hasn’t wanted to listen. Listening to all of the school shit the last couple of weeks – I keep thinking of her. Apparently that is a school-wide thought. You are a kid who has issues? Go away – man up – we only think you are telling us because you expect something we don’t think you deserve. It’s fucked up.
My relationship with my kids is funny. A few days ago, my college age kid posted video on social media of her roommate putting on her friend’s face a frosting dick. Her friend was willing and had standards for that dick on her face. My comment to her was “why a dick on the face?” Her response: “sometimes dicks just happen, mother.” True….sometimes dicks just happen. Today, my other daughter was going on a date. “Are you taking condoms?” I asked her. She was disgusted by the question……”Moe, there are lots of people around – why do you think sex is happening?” My response? “People are creative and not everything is lit.” She left the house disgusted. My job here is done.