Today was such a mixed bag at work.
I spent the first part of my day settling down my cohorts.
The middle part of my day was talking to people concerned I’m going to leave.
The latter part of my day was squashing the rumors that my cohort, then I, will be fired soon.
Just a fucked up day of “normal”.
I have been told now by about 6 different people that I should be running the IT department. G and SB started with their remarks. G’s girlfriend weighed in. My now-former boss told me I was his successor. Then two of my peers told me that today. Oh, I guess I miscounted because a 7th person weighed in with her support. She is pretty much the CFO fo the company right now. Clearly, I am far from being fired.
The CFO wanted to make sure I wasn’t going anywhere. She has offered her help and her support if I want to go forward. She is pretty pissed that my boss was gone. Even more so, she is pretty vocal about the fact he is gone at a time we were doing the greatest good. She is not alone in her worries that we will now slide backwards in this process.
As for me, I’m trying to help. I’m trying to support the guy who is coming back in – even though I do not believe he understands what he is being asked to do. He spent all day in their monthly leadership meeting only to come out with an action item that is specific to a small program issue in accounting. That was his takeaway. Not the concerns people have about their stalled projects. Not the issues people are having and are afraid are not being addressed. Not the list of projects his boss wants. Nope. A singular issue that, in the end, is not the be-all-end-all that he is acting it is.
I have had to wear a mask today. I have had to act like all is normal. I have had to ignore the smug attitudes I feel that I may be picking up. Until the one guy come forth and told a shitload of people that he thinks I’m going to be the 3rd person fired, the act was good. Now? I don’t know who is going to punch the fucker next – me or my peer. My bets are on him as he has done it before. Plus, I view my greatest response as being me taking more control of the group. Imagine thinking someone he hated was going to be fired, only to find out they are now your leaders. Yeah, it would suck bad….and honestly, that waste-of-space guy deserves that experience. I could replace him in a second, and have a better employee.
But in the end, I have spent a greater part of the day thinking about what I would do if I were in charge. Who would I lobby to fire. Who would I demote. What would I say and do differently. Almost 11 years ago, I found myself in a similar situation. I was offered the choice too. Take the reigns or help hire the replacement. I chose the latter because I didn’t feel strong enough to do the former. Now? Now – I am not the same person I was then. I can see me doing this job. The difference is would they let me do the job. The tables have definitely turned.