Being a Kink Event Photographer

“So, do you take photos of everyone?”

“Nope.  I only take photos of those who have given me permission.”

“How do you get permission?”

“I ask. Or they come and give me permission.”

“Oh, so you won’t take photos of me?”

“Are you giving me permission?”


“Then no.  And if you are accidently in the background of another photo, I remove you from the photo because you are not part of the scene I have permission to shoot.”

“Oh.  What do you do with the photos?”

“Give them to the people who requested them.”

“So you don’t show everyone?”

“I don’t.  But the people I shoot photos of may choose to post them.  That is why I remove anyone who did not consent.”

“Oh. So, uhm…”

“Look – photography is viewed as just like any other kink.  If it is not consented to or negotiated, then it doesn’t happen. ”

“Oh, okay – that makes sense.  Don’t take photos of me.”

“Okay, I won’t.”



I think I had this conversation about 30 times tonight.  The rules for this kink party talks exactly about how photography will be taken but only if consented.  Then it goes through this exact set of details that are above.  It is even written into what everyone signs at the door.  Yet, 30 times tonight.

The dungeon monitors were even getting pulled aside.

“Does she have permission to take their photos?”

“If she’s taking them, she has permission.  That is how it works.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am quite sure.”

“Oh, okay. As long as you are sure.”

This conversation was reported to me a dozen times by the dungeon monitors.

I hit a point in the evening where I started forming snarky responses in my head.

“What are you going to do with the photos?”

“Post them to a website entitled: ‘Look at the people doing weird ass shit at a sex club – shun them!’  Can I get your name to go with the photos I just shot of you? It will help with the search results if people google your name.”


“Why are you taking photos?”

“The Catholic church sent me here undercover to find all of the sinners.  They are going to circulate the photos amongst their members so they know who to shame.”


“Are you allowed to take photos?”

“Shhhh…..don’t tell anyone, but I made this staff photographer badge at home.  I really run an online website where I secretly expose who is kinky.  I’m having a great night capturing the freaks at this party.”


“Who said you can take their photo?”

“I don’t need no stinking permission – I do what I want.  Fuck those who don’t like it!”

Talking to the party organizer after things slowed down, we chuckled at the fact no one is reading the short versions or the full versions of the photo policy.

“Hell, they are also not reading the dress code policy.  I mean look around – blue jeans, blue jeans, more blue jeans.  That guy is in sweats.   I’m going to post a big sign on the door and start telling the door person to enforce because this is ridiculous. I get the owners are lax but I want this party to be upscale.”

The party itself was a good one despite some weird occurances.  One rigger was doing an awesome rope scene.  He had used a post in this sort of loft space to do a partial suspension.  It was fun to watch – until I saw she passed out and he had to cut her down.  What was worse was people started freaking while he was cutting her out of the rope.  He is yelling at them to get their hands out of the way.  He had a rope climbers cutting tool which is perfect for these situations – and he almost cut people’s fingers trying to get her down.

She was fine.  She fainted – but came to without going into shock which amazed me.  It was a fluke of a situation.  When I saw it happening, I immediately went running around trying to find the dungeon monitor to help out.  The guy rigging it is also a dungeon monitor, but I couldn’t tell his state of mind and figured he needed assistance.  The DM came back and thanked me because it was what was needed.

Ironically, the other DM who was off-shift was mid-suspension when his wife (who he was suspending) almost vomited and passed out.  He got her down fast enough and there was other help but damn – 2 major issues in one night.  Fuck.

And I guess you could almost add a 3rd because one experienced guy almost dropped the person he was suspending.  It was crazy.

But despite the questions and the issues, people were having a blast.  And that is always fun to witness.

Oh, and I got paid tonight by the event organizer.  Not much – not much at all, but I appreciate the thought.  I really do.  It was a nice gesture.

Not a bad night.

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