Tuesday’s Internal Dialog, So Far….

7:30 am – WTF is this email about?

8 am – So why are we having this meeting?

8:05 am – Who the fuck would actually do it this way?

8:15 am – They are worrying about maybe $50-100, but there are 8 people in this room who are now focused on this missing $100 – and we have spent more than that just talking about it. It’s going to be this kind of day. Ugh.

8:20 am – Ah good – we have someone who should care about the details over generalizing the issue thereby making it a bigger issue than it is. And she works for me….add it to the list of things to talk to her about.

8:35 am – And now the head of accounting is telling me about her concerns about the capacity my employee to understand things. I need more coffee.

8:37 am — Mmmmm…coffee! I’m so glad this place buys good coffee instead of cheap shit.

8:40 am – The project manager at that company sounds exhausted and like he has lost all hope for this project. Wonder if anyone else notice? <look around the room> Yep – my cohort notices it. He has less of a poker face than I do.

8:50 am – Oh good – and now the experts at the company who are also on this conference call are starting to sound like they are just fed up with having the same conversations with our team – over and over again. I feel ya, folks – I really do.

8:59 am – Ok, this isn’t even close to being done – I need to go to another meeting. Sorry, cohort, for saddling you with the rest of this.

9:05 am – Day 2 of his job at this company, and he has pretty much got the mood of the room read. Wonder how he handles direct communications? Let’s find out.

9:10 am – He handles it well – oh thank goodness.

9:20 am – I appreciate his thoroughness but damn – people dress how they want to dress – people show up and get their jobs done – and it is up to people to take the breaks they need. Wonder what he’s really getting at by asking these questions?

9:45 am – We gave this guy shit during the interview that he cannot be a religious fanatic about ITIL methodology. He swore he was not that guy – but uhm….I think he’s that guy. This may be rocky for him – though he likes rock climbing he said – so….

9:55 am – How do I articulate this in a way that comes across as guiding not bossy? I mean, I need him to understand that my advice should be taken to keep him from the land mines but need to make this his conclusion.

10:10 am – Damn – we barely scratched the surface of his list.

10:20 am – Just get back to my desk, and I hear "Oh Emmy….." Oh fuck….now what?

10:22 am – Holy shit! That 8 am meeting just got over with a few minutes ago??

10:32 am – I just left this conference room – and now I’m back here for the debrief from my cohort. This is the price for me dumping him alone in that meeting.

10:35 am – I do not consider myself a business expert but damn are the business basics not understood at this place. Costs are costs – price is price — you care about the two but they are not the same thing!! Why does the IT team understand this better than the teams that need to know this for their daily jobs!?!

10:45 am – And add another thing to the list to talk to my employee about…..I was told I cannot fire her – but I wonder when that constraint would be lifted?

10:55 am – I wonder at what point someone is going to wonder how good of a friend this guy is given all I’m saying in response to their "gun" conversations.

11:05 am – This is kind of funny – I know enough to impress the guys about guns. I find it amusing to surprise people.

11:15 am – Fuck it is cold out here! And there is wind too. Now to not let the wind flip my skirt up to reveal the lack of panties.

11:20 am – Wonder where the lunch people are at? There is no one here – SCORE!

11:40 am – Mmmmm….ham and cheese sandwich.

11:50 am – What issue are they talking about? We’ve been talking for weeks – where did this come from and why now?? Is my wonder-coder around?

11:55 am – And he doesn’t know what they are talking about either. Joy.

12:10 pm – God I have missed having a standing desk! Oh thank you former cohort that screwed up and got fired so that the boss could encourage me to take it as my own! And thank you to my team for hooking me up with the stands to my monitors so I could keep the big ones. There is a size queen joke in there somewhere.

12:20 pm – Microsoft licensing is so much fun – what time is it? Crap….not late enough.

12:40 pm – Bwaahaaha – that annoying network guy is now the problem of his new boss — toss in my 2 cents – then make him deal with him.

12:45 pm – I know we have work for someone to do – come on – where is it? Wonder-coder is without work again. Wonder if he wants to pretend he is a business analyst and do some of my work ….

12:50 pm – He does! Sucker!

12:55 pm – Damn- cohort bailed him out though it is with work that requires him to learn a programming language that is about 20 years old. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

1:20 pm – Thought my boss was coming into the office today – please let him say he is going to be out the rest of the day. I’ve got a date with SB – and that would make it easier to get out of here on time!

What do you think?