Over the last few months, I haven’t taken as many photos as I would have liked. Life keeps getting in the way, and inspiration is lacking. Just seems like it is one thing or another these days.
Yesterday, I spent 3 hours in the rain taking rugby photos. When I say “in the rain”, I really mean “in the monsoon” that was downpours of rain, gusty winds, and cold. My rain gear, which I had upgraded to a new set earlier in the day, was put to its limits. I started wondering if it was soaking through or if it was just so much cold rain hitting my back that I was feeling the cold through my sweatshirt and to my skin. It was the latter thankfully, but for a while I wasn’t sure.
But I did go and get a “raincoat” for my camera that I started calling the camera condom for practicing safe-shooting. For $30, I got two of them – and they worked pretty well. I still got some wetness on my lens and the telephotoing part of my lens, but not nearly what it would have been had I not had it on the camera.
The photos I captured weren’t bad. You could see the downpour of rain in them which was fascinating to have captured. Usually if you want to photograph rain in a shot, you have to add more water (even if it is raining) because regular rain doesn’t usually show up well. Unless you are shooting rugby photos in a monsoon.
About 30 minutes before the game ended, I had hit a point where I was done. I was cold – I was wet – people were annoying me – I was over it all. I stuck it out, then declined my invite to the drink-up afterwards. I was people’d out. I headed home, stopped and got a sandwich and beer on the way, then stripped off my wet closed and curled up under a blanket on the couch.
I have an erotic photo series idea that I now have a faux bearskin rug for its execution. I just need to see if I can pull it off. I need people in the photos to be able to interact with me or someone in the room so I can get more of a natural feel – a natural response in the photos. My best erotic photos have just that in it – interplay between two people who are having fun in the scene – or someone who is enjoying the concept and getting into character. I have found doing a photo shoot with someone who doesn’t know their body or angles is hard – it’s easier to respond than it is to have to pose someone. I know that isn’t easy either because when I was act to model once for a shoot, I was the most awkward model ever. And then one photographer was like “act scared”, “you’re frightened of me – act frightened” – and all I could do was laugh. It felt so false.
I guess that is why I’m worried about pulling it off right. I mean, I can shoot a landscape or a cat or my kids – and do pretty well at that. But to work with someone in a modeling sense intimidates the hell out of me. No matter how much I read up on it – or get ideas of how to make minor tweaks during the shoot to make it work, I feel like I’m a fraud walking into this territory. I worry whoever I work with look at me and wonder why they are working with someone who is not a real photographer but someone who just happens to have a digital camera.
So while I figure out the last erotic photo I’m going to toss into the group show – and try to find inspiration somewhere – anywhere for erotic photos or otherwise, I’m listening to music, trying to squash the voice in my head whispering to me negative things, and cleaning my office because art will be made. Photos need to be taken, edited and printed.
And maybe as I organize my office, putting away art and all, I will find inspiration to shoot something.