On Friday, because I had some time, I started reading the final book in the set of books for my upcoming class. I was quite happy about it because that means that I have finished all four books this week – a new record for me. And after last class and feeling ill-prepared, it feels good to know I will go into this class prepared.
The final book was Emotional Intelligence 2.0. I thought it was a straight forward book – read start to finish – but it was another book where your reading hinges on taking a test. The test was to evaluate my emotional intelligence or give me my EQ score.
Online I went and took the test. And my score across the board was pretty consistent. You get one overall score – then a score in each of the areas of EQ. I agreed with the scores. Then it suggested after on the areas to focus on.
This is where things always get weird for me.
“You are really good at doing a lot of things – at work, at home, and other commitments. You get it all done but do so at your own personal expense.”
Ok, EQ test, stop freaking me out.
Yes, this is me. I mean, this is REALLY me. I get this feedback often from those who love me.
“You cannot do it all. You have to start saying no. You need to start expecting others to step up. You need to ask for help.”
I can write this all out because, well, t has been said to me …..as recent as a few weeks ago honestly.
So here this test nails it – then lectures on the fact I need to fix it. Then gives me some suggestions. Too weird.
Another area that it suggests I focus:
“Emotions are neither good nor bad. When you label emotions as bad, you find yourself running from them or trying to keep yourself from feeling them. Emotions are just that – emotions. Stop labeling them.”
Has this test been talking to people who know me? Because it is another comment that I resemble! I guess it also shows that no matter how much you try to hide things about yourself, they are really closer to the surface – close enough that a test can bring it to light.
This class has promised to sharpen our leadership skills. And in many ways, I agree. But the unexpected way that it has for me is by making me realize that in order to be a better leader – a better manager – I need to be a better me. I need to understand and embrace what has made me who I am because that is the source of my power as a leader. That will define the kind of team I want. That will define how I lead that team. That will define how I will be successful.
A former cohort and aspiring motivational speaker recently posted a video about how the way to do many things in life – including finding someone to love – is to come to terms with who you are, embrace who you are, and love yourself first. When I listened to his video after reading this book and taking the test, I just shook my head at how many things all come back to the same:
Know thy self.
Love thy self.
Be true to thy self.
And accept the good the universe brings you because they are not accidents – they are earned and deserved.
Goes for everything – leadership, love, and simply life.