I realized midway through the first meeting of my day that I was not in the mood to be around people. Let me rephrase that: I was not safe to be around people.
As my cohort was midway through explaining, for the 5th time, how something needed to get done, I stepped in and finished his explanation – not because I thought he couldn’t, but because I had heard it 5 times and couldn’t figure out why my developer couldn’t understand it while I could. I realized I needed to step back away from the situation when, upon ending my explanation, the desire to throw my coffee mug at him was stronger than it should have been.
Was I just no longer able to suffer fools gladly? Or was something else at play?
I wasn’t sure.
I was sure that I was sick of rehashing the same shit with the same people at work only to have them not get it.
I was sure that I slept like shit last night, and was not in the mood.
I was sure that my lower back is out, so sitting through this dumb ass meeting was just annoying me.
I was sure that I was not in the mood of idiots today. I was in the mood to get shit done, not go in circles.
I was sure that I was sick of things not working out as I wanted them to. I tried to book my rooms for my class – at the hotel where it is held – only to find out that the “block of rooms” for us all are all booked. Close by? The rooms are all 2-3x as much a night.
I was sure that I need a break. I need a break from life. I need my needs fulfilled.
I was sure that I needed to realize that I was just dealing with too much shit – all hitting at once – making me sure of one thing……
……that I needed to sit back, shut up, and know that I am sure this will pass…..and it will be……
and until then: