For those who don’t understand that title probably doesn’t understand the name of this blog. G has often asked me to signal in abrupt turns in my conversation. For me Subject A linked nicely to Subject B, but only usually for me. Apparently others need a clear transition between the topics else it is like someone driving along one direction, then abruptly making a right-turn without signally. I guess some get whiplash. When I do this to G, he usually makes a remark about me taking a right-turn without signaling. He needs a signal.
Anyway, I was going to – and may still – write a blog about how fried I feel after 22 hours of training in 2 days. I was going to call the post "Stick a spork in me; I’m done." Figured it needed a silly image of some sort, so did a search. And found this:
Fuck my silly image – I want this spork!
Introducing the Ka-Bar Tactical Spork – made of a glass filled resin/polymer which is the only downside. Would be better if it were stainless, at the least.
The comments on Amazon are kind of funny too.
Don’t stick me with this spork – but I am done with my week.
An hour into my day today, I was at 40 hours of work for the week.
(wow – my font changed for some reason. fuck it – it’ll just look weird)
It’s not wonder I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning – my body feels like my work week is done. Add into the mix the fact I cannot kick the last part of this fucking head cold – and I’m just really fucking done. Granted, as G pointed out yesterday, we are full on into allergy season now, so that likely isn’t helping either.
I guess there’s another problem. My soul is tired. It feels exhausted. And it needs to recharge as it processes shit. It needs some time by the ocean. It needs some time with a camera in my hand. It needs some time not being Moe or all of the other roles but to just be me. It needs some time sleeping. It needs a good beating – one with laughter and moans and tears. I need a good, sound fucking that leaves me wrung out and unable to think. I need good drink – good food – and the right company. Then maybe, my head will feel right – I will feel right.
My neighbor in cubicle land is funny. He curses at the programming software as he programs. Because he has his headphones on, he usually doesn’t hear how loud he is doing that. I appreciate the fact he does though because, well, many times people are too nice here. It’s good to see there is some passion.
I saw something that made me happy this morning. Barcelona, one of the world’s biggest soccer clubs, has decided to develop a team in the US to compete in the National Woman’s Soccer League!! (Yes, my font changed again.) It’s kind of awesome because this league is starting its 5th season – it has surpassed other women’s soccer leagues in the past. And because it is growing, one of the European premier leagues wants in. That is fucking awesome. That says a lot. I cannot wait to see what happens.
I’m ready for the Thorn’s game on Saturday. Thank goodness for streaming games and a good TV to hook up to, so I can watch it on the big screen while they are playing somewhere else.
My boss and I were talking about personality profiles we have done. He showed me one of his that showed both what he is normally vs what happens under stressed. I laughed because as things get stressful, he makes sure people are feeling well while making sure the solution set is right. When I get stressed? All of that goes away. I make decisions and go. I don’t care about emotions because we have work to get done. Time for talk is gone – it is now time to do. In fact, my "caring" sector goes to zero while my dominance one goes off the chart.
I can give lots of examples of where that has manifested in life. But then I started wondering about him – he was a defensive player in college playing football. He had to make all kinds of decisions based on the info present in the moment. No time for working it out with others or caring. Just all about doing. Then I wondered how many times those things were plays or strategies vs in-the-moment decisions.
When I played catcher in college, so much of what I did was rapidly taking in what was happening and making a decision. Sure I know the factors that drive one success over another, but that info alone only worked during controlled situations. During a game, there was much more to consider. And sure your training kicks in – but you get good at reading things in the moment. Your sight has to be wide so you can do things like notice the running is going while trying to catch the pitch to throw it. Or in a situation with runners on the corners, you need to catch the pitch while determining what both runners will be doing and which way to go with the ball once you have it.
Thinking about all of that – it is no wonder why I need many things to work on to be focused. I know how to take control of situations quickly and without emotion – more gut decisions and trust of my skills. And I don’t care how people feel – it is about winning the game.
And I leave you with this because it made me laugh –
I kind of want to do this now.