"Hope you are well! It’s been too long since I’ve seen you!"
That was how the message ended.
Took all I could to not roll my eyes at my iPhone where I was viewing the message.
Too long since you’ve seen me?
You’ve been to at least 3 of the last six art shows I’ve curated. You have walked by and not even said hello or acknowledged my presence in any other way.
Before that, we have been in the same place multiple times, yet you look straight through me.
You’re right. It has been a long time you have seen me….
….seen me as someone you need something from.
….seen me as someone who could help you.
….seen me as someone other than a means to an end.
It’s no surprise, to be honest, that you see me now – even if just in a note – given how the note was all about something you needed from me.
Hope I am well? You don’t care if I’m well – just well enough to hook you up.
These are all of the things I wanted to say. All of the things I thought as I stared at this message.
Yet I responded with an answer to her question, and nothing more.
I signed off with "hope things are well with you".
But I rarely wish the worst on people. You put that energy out into the universe, and it will bite you in the ass. I know that – so I let shit happen as it will. It’s their issue with the universe, not mine.
But I will not even for a second pretend she really cares if I am well – or cares that she hasn’t seen me.
Because me being seen is only part of my issue – most of it, in this case, has to do with her.