I have one more day of freedom.
I stop really working about mid-March of 2016. And I have been fortunate enough to take six months off, and be extremely picking in choosing my next job. I acknowledged my earned privilege. (I call it earned because I financially put myself into a position that allowed this to happen – no one gave it to me.) I am happy that I was allowed this chance – that my choices over the years afforded me this opportunity.
A number of years ago, I was laid off from my job, took a few months off, took another job that ended, and found myself in a bad state. The economy sucked. The savings was not enough. I had no severance. I had no unemployment. And it only took 4 months to almost exhaust the savings. It was stressful. It was not fun. It was ugly. I was happy when I found a position. I was skeptical it was a good long-term choice – but it didn’t matter. I needed the job.
Funny how much can change in almost 4 years. I went from “it’ll be fine” to “get me the fuck out of here”.
Being off for nine months has been good and bad and a bit of the in between.
The good was getting more into my photography.
The good was being able to just take time for me.
The good was being able to do something else for a while.
The good was connecting even more with my dad.
The bad was losing someone from my life that I loved.
The bad was realizing how editing those that I called “friends” led me to pretty much no one left.
The bad was wishing I had the income of my job without the work so that I can do some of the bigger things I wanted.
I am stressed about going back to work again. As a few people have pointed out, I am the one in the house that makes sure things get done – that picks up the slack. I really felt that in the last nine months, but shrugged it off because I wasn’t working anyway. Now I look forward and realize I can’t do that anymore – at least not full-time. I mean, when I wasn’t working, I could do my own thing during the day, and do the mom thing at night. But going forward, I’m going to need my own decompress time. And that means people are going to have to pick up the slack.
DJ started driver’s education tonight. In our state, it is an optional class that fast tracks the kids to get their licenses. After her fucking around with driving the past year, we decided she has to get her license. Too much is starting to happen. Mom and Dad cannot drop everything to drive her to this place and that place. It is time for her to step up. Hell, it’s time for both kids and G to step up.
Adding to it all?
I feel like the universe keeps putting photos and all of him in front of me.
Facebook Memories have been showing memories of great trips we had together.
Someone today did a meme about posting the 7th photo on your phone. Between the first and the 7th were photos of us. Then the 8th was us again.
Just a reminder, I guess……like it or not…..for better or worse….