I figured today would be the last day of the snow days.
Nope. Tomorrow they called it off too.
Ice, Ice, Baby – too cool – too cool.
Sorry – couldn’t resist.
Today, I sent to get my drug test. Yes, the company requires a drug test for managing computer systems. I recall years ago when the company I was with was contemplating drug tests. While they were waffling, other companies embraced it.
I went to the testing facility, found myself 5th in line, and waited almost an hour to get my 3-minute drug test. Ugh.
I came home – did errands – and settled in for the day.
Which was good because the roads were not good.
I don’t know what it is – but I’ve been feeling off. I walked out to get something from the car, when I saw this and grabbed my camera for a photo:
I feel I’m on the cusp for so many people.
I’m enough for this and that — but that the ugly part is in limbo until someone cares or wants to.
I guess it is because I have things to celebrate yet find only a few that I care about are celebrating with me. Those in the superficial space are eager – but they are, at least, clear that they are in it for them. Meanwhile, I have people who want to see my photos, but have limited interest if I need other involved – or to care.
The last show I had? Only three people showed – and barely. I am a great cheerleader. I’m a great promoter of other’s art. Yet if it is me? 3 people.
People ask me questions – get the answer – then nada.
I see that – I feel that – and it tells me all I need to know.
It says they care about them only.
My shit is good in theory but not in reality.
And, most importantly, I should count on no one.
It’s that last part that I am constantly reminded of.
So – at the end of February – when I have a show— I should count on no one.
That is my truth.
I am a rose that is gorgeous until I’m not — then I’m nothing.