Snow Day – Day 6

I figured today would be the last day of the snow days.

Nope.  Tomorrow they called it off too.

Why?

Ice, Ice, Baby – too cool – too cool.

Sorry – couldn’t resist.

Today, I sent to get my drug test.  Yes, the company requires a drug test for managing computer systems. I recall years ago when the company I was with was contemplating drug tests.  While they were waffling, other companies embraced it.

I went to the testing facility, found myself 5th in line, and waited almost an hour to get my 3-minute drug test.  Ugh.

I came home – did errands – and settled in for the day.

Which was good because the roads were not good.

I don’t know what it is – but I’ve been feeling off. I walked out to get something from the car, when I saw this and grabbed my camera for a photo:

I feel I’m on the cusp for so many people.

I’m enough for this and that — but that the ugly part is in limbo until someone cares or wants to.

I guess it is because I have things to celebrate yet find only a few that I care about are celebrating with me.  Those in the superficial space are eager – but they are, at least, clear that they are in it for them.  Meanwhile, I have people who want to see my photos, but have limited interest if I need other involved – or to care.

Example?

The last show I had? Only three people showed – and barely.  I am a great cheerleader. I’m a great promoter of other’s art. Yet if it is me? 3 people.

People ask me questions – get the answer – then nada.

I see that – I feel that – and it tells me all I need to know.

It says they care about them only.

My shit is good in theory but not in reality.

And, most importantly, I should count on no one.

It’s that last part that I am constantly reminded of.

So – at the end of February – when I have a show— I should count on no one.

That is my truth.

I am a rose that is gorgeous until I’m not — then I’m nothing.

Got it.

What do you think?

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