Thursday, I had what I have dubbed a raw day. I woke up feeling like my emotions had been rubbed raw for some reason. And all day, they were right under the surface. During the cool down after my workout was done, I found myself crying. It was like the workout knocked loose something that needed to come out, I guess. But that raw feeling didn’t go away.
In the late afternoon, I went to get DJ’s cat from the vet. He had dental surgery with four teeth removed. He was a stray for a long time, so is FIV+. This results in some dental issues as well as a few other health things we have to keep an eye on. The cat loves to ride in the car which is good because we discovered the day of his surgery that we could not find any of our cat carriers. G suspects we got rid of them after the other cats died. So, I went to get him, got him into the car, and drove home. He rode on my lap and was loving it. I went to get out of the car, and he started fighting me. Ultimately, he got away from me and ran. I chased after him, but he just disappeared. I looked everywhere. I talked to the construction guys at a nearby site and made them look for him. I went to the owner of a business who has a gated area and asked he let me in so we can look for the cat. Thankfully he did but no cat. I had no idea where to even look. All I knew is that a drugged up cat was lost – and out in the cold. (We’ve been having much colder weather than usual.) I spoke with DJ that mentioned his pattern of running includes finding a spot and staying there until you find him. I walked back looking everywhere – under every car, bush, tree, bunch of weeds – everywhere. I walked past a spot, realized I couldn’t get a good look, so went back to look again. And found him. He came out to me and wanted to go home. So I got him across the street to the front door, reached in my pocket for my keys, and discovered my house key had fallen off my keyring. I had no idea where. Thankfully, DJ was a block away, so I wrestled the cat until she got there and could unlock the door. This was not what I needed.
Ultimately, he got away from me and ran. I chased after him across the street towards the busy streets, but he just disappeared. I looked everywhere. I talked to the construction guys at a nearby site and made them look for him. I went to the owner of a business who has a gated area and asked he let me in so we can look for the cat. Thankfully he did but no cat. I had no idea where to even look. All I knew is that a drugged up cat was lost – and out in the cold. (We’ve been having much colder weather than usual.) I spoke with DJ that mentioned his pattern of running includes finding a spot and staying there until you find him. I walked back looking everywhere – under every car, bush, tree, bunch of weeds – everywhere. I walked past a spot, realized I couldn’t get a good look, so went back to look again. And found him. He came out to me and wanted to go home. So I got him across the street to the front door, reached in my pocket for my keys, and discovered my house key had fallen off my keyring. I had no idea where. Thankfully, DJ was a block away, so I wrestled the cat until she got there and could unlock the door. This was not what I needed today – almost losing my daughter’s cat after spending a LOT of money on his dental surgery.
I then had to immediately get ready to go to the art show. Fuck.
I peeled off my leggings and discovered that the cat, during his fight to get free, scratched the hell out of me. I had blood everywhere – and no time for a shower. I got it all cleaned up with first aid cream on all of the cuts, tossed on my clothes, and rushed to the show.
When I got to the club, things were off. Nothing was ready to go. My show was ready to go, but those who cleaned the club from the last party only cleaned it. They didn’t put liners in the trash cans. They didn’t put new covers on the tables. They left recycling containers and all in weird spots. The tables and chairs were not where they should be. The upstairs was not ready for the vendors who are part of the show.
Usually, I worry about the show, but the assumption made by the owner when she scheduled people was that none of this was needed. I ended up running around for an hour trying to help them get it together. We opened at 6, and shit needed to be done. We got it done about 10 minutes after we opened the door.
The show itself went very well. People showed up that had never attended before which was fun. One person afterward commented she had no idea how much work I put into these shows. I suspect that she will be attending others in the future. I was telling G later that I guess because I don’t make a big deal out of what goes into these shows that make people unsure of how involved I am in them. Do I just promote the show for the club, or is it more? I think more people are realizing it is more.
By the time I got home from the show, I was sort of emotionally done for the day. Given how I felt all day, I started fretting about how this was going to translate to my interview on Friday. Finally, G gave me a dram of Scotch and sent me to bed.
Friday was better. I got up, showered, and got ready for the interview. I had, what looked like, 3 interviews scheduled, so I started going through my head things that I knew would come up from each of them. I wrestled the dog into her kennel and started driving out to the company.
The drive, on paper, seems long, but I was pleasantly surprised at how quick it went. I arrived there in time to take a few minutes in the car before going into the building. I’m glad I did that but wished I would had not expected to wait a couple minutes before the interview because I walked into the building and was immediately met at the door. The HR person recruiting the position was great. He immediately wanted me to go to the other building to meet the VP of HR. I realized that I was now in the middle of the interview. And, oh fuck, I didn’t have time to get rid of my gum. Shit.
I met the VP of HR who was a very nice woman. Then he took me back to the main building and to the conference room. “Who am I meeting with first,” I asked. “All of them,” was his response as we entered the conference room. “Cool, a group interview!” I may or may not have said something like “groups are fun”. I can’t tell if that was in my head or if I had succeeded in keeping it to my inside voice only.
The interview was interesting. They asked standard questions. This was the first interview in a long time where my lengthy tenure at my first company was not seen as a negative. This company’s retention rate is VERY high. One guy interviewing me has been at the company for 20 years….and he’s my age. As we were talking, the interview seemed to shift from interview to “here’s our issues that will be your issues”. We started talking about ways to solve them. I kept trying to remind myself that this was an interview, so made sure I would include examples of how I was able to use this or that in other roles. By the end, they were laid way back in how they were talking to me. I noticed that suddenly curse words were being slipped into their discussions about things. When I finally looked at a clock, I discovered we had been talking for almost 2 hours. It only stopped when someone noticed the time and realized they had a meeting they were about to miss.
My friend who is the VP of IT there came in and chatted with me a bit. He told me what he was going to do to get me the salary I wanted. He told me how he writes contracts to ensure people get the standard expected vacation time. He told me about the awesome employee purchasing program. He asked me about what they asked and what I said. He knows me too well because he was like “ok, cool – now I know you didn’t say it like that – how did you say it?” He laughed because he knows how I am in a meeting versus how I can speak to him. He also told me how no one in the group has been opposed to this position. In fact, each time he thought there would be a fight about it, the person shocked him by getting excited about it. Wow.
As he walked me out, he was giddy. I started laughing at him because of how giddy he was to have me on his team. “You know what I’m most excited about,” he asked. “We are in charge. No political bullshit or fucked up bureaucracy – we define the destiny of the group. I love that idea!” Then he reached over like he was going to give me a hug, realized that wouldn’t be good, and gave me this half pat on the arm thing. I laughed at him.
Monday or Tuesday, I should hear from HR. I just hope that no one had any real issues. I don’t feel like they would but who knows. I am trying to not be overconfident but cautiously optimistic.
I really want this job.
I came home, got the cat to take his meds, then went to dinner with G to celebrate. I was ready. The last couple days has been rough in different ways. I needed that win at the end.
As I was telling a friend, I think all of the emotions and shit that I had dammed up inside just broke out on Thursday. The stress of all that was happening just made it happen. I don’t know. I’m jsut glad the week is done.
And now I am stuck in the house instead of going to the party I got invited to…..yay snow?
At least I got out before it started for some photos.