Funny how the theme for today is “PEACE”, and I cannot do it.
Maybe it is because I’ve had a disappointed night.
Maybe it is because I’ve learned a family member lied and stole from me.
Maybe it is because I really just want to do what is comfortable to me – blow shit up.
It will make me feel better.
Because I’m not feeling peace. I’m feeling pissed. I’m feeling disappointed. I’m feeling anger and frustration. I’m feeling …..sigh…..all things far from peace.
I’m really sick of shit – working my ass off – being a friend but not getting much friendship. I’m just starting to wonder why I try – why I care – why…..
Sad part is, I was starting to feel like maybe…..just maybe…..this week was marking a turn in things – a turn in life. Now, well, now I feel it was a blip – it was a glimmer of hope that was not an indicator of a turn but something else, I guess.
I don’t know.
Feels like for every up, there must be 3 downs….