I went back and forth about this prompt and how to photography it. My daughter DJ was like “take a photo of the dancing lady and your hops – that show friendship as the hops wrap around her for support – and she is happy to give it – and all.” I had taken a few other photos – then did her suggestion. Why not, I mean, I could not capture anything else.
Fuck.
How sad is that?
A couple of weeks ago, I captured the rugby guys in a moment where they epitomized friendship. I could have used that and no one would know.
I have picts of the dogs getting along as friends.
I have picts of the cats (before they died) getting along as friends.
But true friendship…..it alluded me.
Reality is – I have few friends. A few of you really can include yourself in that group and without my objections. To have friends is to be vulnerable and honest and true – and I was raised to be honest and true and strong (aka not vulnerable). For the few I have met that have led me to “drop my wall” – they have seen and appreciated who I am. That person is hard to be because there is too much risk – too much vulnerability. I feel like a cat showing it’s belly. I want it scritched but don’t because that is a risk I’m scared to take. So, I bite.
Maybe what doesn’t help is the election results tonight. I will never claim to be “with her” but I know for sure I will never be “with him”. If making America great again means losing my rights and losing my influence, well, fuck that shit. I will not go quietly into that night – and for those who do, well, fuck you too.
So, I don’t know what I’m grateful for tonight.
For friends who feel the same way?
I guess.
I guess what I am sad for is having a friend to make me feel like it will be OK. Cause I don’t feel like itwill be. For me. Or for my girls.
Hard to feel grateful when feeling like I may have failed them.
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