G commented today that he loves the relationships he has. He told me all about it. One is a girlfriend. They spend lots of time together. The other is a friendship which allows them to enjoy odd things together. And he said “God, I love how this all works – I love that all is what it is. I want nothing more; I want nothing less. I like what we all have.”
He paused like I should say something, but what do I say?
Do I say I’m happy for him? I am. But the reality is this:
“I miss having that. I don’t know what I want to do going forward.”
I said my truth – I laid it on the table. I left it there.
“Oh, I, uhm, yeah – I wish that for you,” was his response.
I pushed it aside.
I drove home.
I had shit to do. I didn’t have time to think about all of this.
My heart ached.
My heart aches.
It is what it is – but it sucks.
I won’t deny that.