Leaving My Mind – Not A Chance


I looked at the clock as I was wound around his body and realized it was time to go.

Time to go…..

That’s the horrible party of polyamory. I feel like I’m leaving people both ways – leaving him alone – leaving him in a place of wishing I could stay- leaving.

Leaving because my kids will start texting me. Leaving because I have something to do tomorrow. Leaving.

I hate leaving.

I really fucking hate leaving.

Because SB is on my mind always.

I feel him. I feel his energy. I feel his body. I feel him.

And I miss him – the minute I leave him – I am blocks from his house, and I am missing him.  I miss him.

The reality is that I miss him the minute I am away from him.

And it’s because he never has left me….I have never left him.

We are together but apart, and I miss him.

Anyone who says polyamory is easy is full of shit.  Rough assessment? Fuck yes.  But truthful.

I wish sometimes we were younger – without kids – without some of the attachments we have – because, it seems, we could do polyamory differently.  But, it is what it is. I have teenagers and mortgage payments and all.  I cannot be away without notice. Without consequence.

I hate that – I hate that because he is always on my mind – he is always with me…..and I ….I hate being away.

Love……ah…..love……sigh……the trials of polyamory in this case…..

doesn’t mean he leaves my mind….not at all…

What do you think?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.