Two Weeks

It’s been 2 weeks since I officially became laid off.

I keep having to remind myself that it has only been 2 weeks.  For some reason, I feel like I’m just burning through time – not getting enough done or at least enough of what I wanted to get done, done.  I guess because I’m used to going a million miles a minute with work and home that I think time is going faster than it really is.  And because time feels like it’s going so fast, I stop and think that I am not getting enough to done.

Let me offer perspective…..

The first week post-layoff, I tore up all of the lawn on one part of our front yard and replaced it with bark dust and new beds to plant veggies.  I also planted veggies in another bed.  And I also cleaned up the parking strip which was a freaking mess.  None of this was easy work – but back breaking.

And I’m not feeling like I’m doing enough…..uhmm…..yeah, no.

This week’s project has been getting my photo office pulled together. I have put together several desks. I have moved a lot of shit out of the room including sorting through and determining what needs to be trashed vs recycled vs donated.  I have done house work.  I have done the grocery shopping. I have run errands for the family.

And again, I’m not feeling like I’m doing enough?

Last night, I slept like shit.  I finally woke up at almost 10:30am, made myself coffee, and realized I was still not awake even after the coffee.  I pushed myself to get my camera to go shoot photos when I found myself on my front porch asking myself why I’m pushing myself.  I’m still fuzzy headed from a shitty night’s sleep.  Why do I feel like I have to get a shit ton of stuff done?

So I turned around, went back inside, and made myself another cup of coffee.  I then curled up under a blanket since I was also cold – and watched TV.  And didn’t feel guilty about it.  Then went I felt more awake, I worked more on my office.

It’s funny because a former cohort told me that I would come running back to a job because I would be bored.  It is truly not the case.  Instead, I’m going to feel like I have more to do at home – more I want to get done at home.  And not because I am slacking off but because my to-do list is too long. Plus, it’s felt great getting these things I’ve wanted to get done, done.  So I want to do more.

Meanwhile, I’m having to remind myself to relax too.

Thankfully next week, I’ll be doing just that – on the coast…..ahhhhhh!

I guess what I’m learning is that I need to keep things in perspective.  I don’t need to go a million miles a minute.  I don’t need to get everything done every day.  I don’t need to worry about what is left undone because there is tomorrow.  And as a few people who know the job market have reminded me, the jobs are going nowhere – and these are people in the know, if you will.

So I will continue to force myself to slow down.

And enjoy the time off.

Thankfully, I have two people who keep reminding me to do just that……which is what I need.

What do you think?

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