It’s been 2 weeks since I officially became laid off.
I keep having to remind myself that it has only been 2 weeks. For some reason, I feel like I’m just burning through time – not getting enough done or at least enough of what I wanted to get done, done. I guess because I’m used to going a million miles a minute with work and home that I think time is going faster than it really is. And because time feels like it’s going so fast, I stop and think that I am not getting enough to done.
Let me offer perspective…..
The first week post-layoff, I tore up all of the lawn on one part of our front yard and replaced it with bark dust and new beds to plant veggies. I also planted veggies in another bed. And I also cleaned up the parking strip which was a freaking mess. None of this was easy work – but back breaking.
And I’m not feeling like I’m doing enough…..uhmm…..yeah, no.
This week’s project has been getting my photo office pulled together. I have put together several desks. I have moved a lot of shit out of the room including sorting through and determining what needs to be trashed vs recycled vs donated. I have done house work. I have done the grocery shopping. I have run errands for the family.
And again, I’m not feeling like I’m doing enough?
Last night, I slept like shit. I finally woke up at almost 10:30am, made myself coffee, and realized I was still not awake even after the coffee. I pushed myself to get my camera to go shoot photos when I found myself on my front porch asking myself why I’m pushing myself. I’m still fuzzy headed from a shitty night’s sleep. Why do I feel like I have to get a shit ton of stuff done?
So I turned around, went back inside, and made myself another cup of coffee. I then curled up under a blanket since I was also cold – and watched TV. And didn’t feel guilty about it. Then went I felt more awake, I worked more on my office.
It’s funny because a former cohort told me that I would come running back to a job because I would be bored. It is truly not the case. Instead, I’m going to feel like I have more to do at home – more I want to get done at home. And not because I am slacking off but because my to-do list is too long. Plus, it’s felt great getting these things I’ve wanted to get done, done. So I want to do more.
Meanwhile, I’m having to remind myself to relax too.
Thankfully next week, I’ll be doing just that – on the coast…..ahhhhhh!
I guess what I’m learning is that I need to keep things in perspective. I don’t need to go a million miles a minute. I don’t need to get everything done every day. I don’t need to worry about what is left undone because there is tomorrow. And as a few people who know the job market have reminded me, the jobs are going nowhere – and these are people in the know, if you will.
So I will continue to force myself to slow down.
And enjoy the time off.
Thankfully, I have two people who keep reminding me to do just that……which is what I need.