Judgement and “Leaving it to God”

“I’m leaving this to God”

“God will fix this.”

“I trust God to resolve it.”

I don’t know how many times in the last 48hrs I have read this on my Facebook feed from a few of my friends…..or I should maybe say “friends” as they are more acquaintances than true friends.

Each time these statements start being made – statements like “God’s got this” – it is in response to something huge happening.  The arrest of a child.  The unexpected accident.  The surprise grandchild they discovered they had.

Each time their crisis is laid at the feed of God just to have another one pop up, I wonder….

“What if you are missing the point of God? What if God is trying to smack you across the head with these problems to get you to change direction? What if that’s how God is trying to fix it – and YOU are missing the lesson?”

My tantra teacher once commented that it is hard sometimes to watch those you love repeat the same mistakes over and over again – then wonder aloud, in frustration, why the result wasn’t different.  She equated it to watching someone walk into a low hanging branch.  S/he hits her/his head hard.  Hard enough that cursing occurs – maybe even a trip to the ER. Then comes back and does it again. Instead of ducking which is the lesson, s/he walks faster and gets hit harder.  The universe, she would say, will keep serving up the lesson over and over until you learn it.  When patterns repeat, ask yourself what you are missing.

With one of the “friends” , a classmate from high school, I keep watching her sons get arrest, her sons bringing home grandchildren from previous relationships or announcing pregnancies with their “girl of the moment”.  She posts her drama with the baby-mamas.  She posts her frustrations about how her family keeps getting attacked yet they keep rising.  And I shake my head and wonder……

…..is it time to teach the boys about condoms?

….is it time to say “the lesson for you doing this crime is jail – and I’m not standing up and saying you were wronged?”

…..is it time to looking within and ask “what am I enabling that makes this shit keep happening??”

I know not all are like me.

I know that while others look for external reasons life happens, that others (like me) look within and wonder what am I doing to contribute to this outcome.  And know those others are rare – especially these days.

But damn, it is hard not to look at these status updates –

It is hard not to judge…..

…..and even harder sometimes not so say “I wish you family well – and I wish you’d understand what God is trying to really tell you – and it isn’t that you are tough as nails but that you need to do something differently.”

Instead, I mute or unfollow or unfriend because, well, car crashes may be fun to watch for some – but for me, they are hard to watch.  I feel the pain. I see the mistakes. I wonder, as a mother, how another mom can sit there and defend when all evidence shows they should let the lesson sink in.  I cannot watch. It makes me too sad as the path the kids are on is clear – and it is hard – and it is painful…….and I wish that on no kid.

And ultimately, I wish they would understand their God’s true lesson……

……that will make it stop.

……that will make life better.

…..that is what their kids really need.

What do you think?

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