I remember waking at about 2am. 2am is the time I always wake, or so it seems. Being at the beach was no exception.
So at 2am, I am laying there, thinking about how great the weekend had been – thinking about much I still missed SB. No distraction seems to remove the feeling that someone is missing from the fun – and that someone? SB.
When I finally fell asleep, I drifted immediately into a dream.
I was walking into a bar.
I see him.
He is with a friend – they are talking with a drink in front of them.
I make a bee-line to their table. He sees me, puts down his drink, then pulls me into his lap. His hand grabs my hair as he pulls me into a kiss – hard, deep, hot. His other hand is on my breast. And as his teeth nip my tongue, his fingers find my nipple. Both cause me to moan into his mouth – not caring where we are, my hips push into his – rubbing against him.
When he finally releases me, I sit back – still on his lap. He looks at me with that hungry look that I know too well. Then he grabs me again and devours me. I melt into him.
I don’t care where we are at. I love what I feel. I love how we are.
Then I awake again.
I shift. I get comfortable again. Then when I close my eyes, the same scene unfolds.
I dream this over and over and over again until I finally wake.
Then even then, my lips feel like they have been kissed over and over again. They are chapped. My mind is still with him.
No matter where I’m at – I still reach for him.
It’s not a reflection of how I feel about G – or the time with the family – or the time we have together.
It’s just simply me, missing SB, and feeling like he is missing.
So I reach for him. And when I find him – I seem to find him over and over again.
Funny how that happens.