I get that it is human nature to try to make sense of chaos.
I understand when things are in total disorder that it is a tendency to try to make order from it.
I do get it….and here is where I add the “but”…..
BUT! If no one has control over the situation, all you are doing is driving yourself crazy.
I work for a large company who was just recently acquired by another large company. We were acquired because we were failing as a company. Each quarter was a loss. Cash was dwindling. Nothing that was being done was making any gains. Our value was greater than our stock price. In other words, the company was a bargain. When we were bought, few people were surprised. Companies had been looking at our company so it was a matter of time.
Now, we are all in limbo as we learn what the acquiring company wants to do with us. There are certain decisions they have made that make it clear what will not happen. The custom build application I spent 3 years working on? Gone. The account systems that are used today? Nope. Even our web software is out the window.
As someone who has been through an acquisition before where the goal was to play nice over doing the right thing, I appreciate what they are doing. They aren’t screwing around. They are making the right decisions and not hesitating with the decisions that go with it. One of the decisions we needed to make at my last company resulted in us fucking around for over 2 years. That’s a lot of money and pain as we tried to run our business on multiple systems with multiple processes but under 1 name.
Each and every day, I have multiple people come to me to tell me what is going to happen. They have no information, no evidence, but they are going to tell me how it is. And each day, I nod and point out that no one knows anything except for that we know nothing – so we’ll see what happens. The response is usually somewhat hostile as people argue with me. I had someone tell me I didn’t know what I was talking about. But when asked how many acquisitions they have been through in their career, the answer is zero. I am being told how IT should work post-merger. I have been told what layoff decisions will be made. I’ve even been told of the timing.
The worst part?
It’s all bullshit.
My boss was going on and on about how he wishes he was in the office versus being remote. I told him that I would trade him. While nothing is going on in the office, the bullshit negativity and all is driving me insane. Everyone wants to talk about it – but no one wants to actually have a real discussion. I hit a point today where I asked someone why they are still with the company if they are this negative. They had no answer.
Then on top of it, I have people demanding to know why I haven’t left yet. Well, A) I have found nothing compelling me to jump ship at the moment. B) I have work that needs to get done. C) I’m kind of ready for a layoff package so I can take some time off from this place – and recoup. Even my personal reasons are challenged. I am wrong.
How the fuck can I be wrong for doing what I need to do?
My cohorts shared an office that is now vacant. I’m seriously contemplating hiding out there with the door shut just so people near me will leave me alone.
The only light during my day is a project I just inherited a month ago. The people are awesome and focused. They are happy with all that I’m doing and taking care of. They tell me all the time how happy they are to have me as their PM even if I am their third one in four months. Even the vendor is happy to have a real PM on the project (their words). I’m just happy to be working with a vendor who is holding to a schedule. It’s quite refreshing. The first project that I will see through to the end in about four years. Did I mention I need a vacation?
Then on top of it all, this negatively is in stark contrast to the other great things and people in my life – outside of my work life. Truly, the non-work life is what keeps me afloat – reminds me that this is what allows me to live but is not my life.
Thank the deity of your choice for that!
I know I do all of the time.