I had barely walked into the house yesterday when it happened.
The thing that happened way too many times to count yesterday.
A friend who has been staying with us came into the room and immediately started telling me about his run earlier in the day before the ice and snow had melted – how he only slipped once and didn’t get hit by a car. I replied that I thought he was crazy to do it when he did given he could have gotten hurt so he was lucky. Then I set my laptop bag down and started taking off my coat. “Ok – well, I’ll be back late – bye” and he left.
I just stood there shaking my head as I took off my coat and put it on the back of a chair – then moved my laptop bag to a more appropriate place. G asked what I was talking about – and I responded that what just happened was exactly how my day has gone. I am barely physically in the house – mentally I’m shifting gears from work and all. And he walks in, doesn’t say hello or acknowledge me in any other way other than a person who didn’t know this tale and had to be told immediately before leaving.
“The funny thing is if this was like the rest of my day – I could have told him it was nice to see the elephants too and he wouldn’t have heard me but continued on his path.”
Then I paused before adding, “this – THIS – has been my day.”
Later when I was talking to SB, I commented I’m sure the weather has fucked everyone up in terms of how they are behaving – but damn! I had started my day off with an IM with a friend where what I said was greeted with a “Whatever!” which immediately pissed me off (pet peeve). Then she blabbed at me as though I had said nothing. No matter what I responded back, she would just go on as though it was not said. “You aren’t very chatty today, ” she later commented. Ironically she didn’t wait for a response before she had moved back on to her favorite topic – herself.
An IT manager who befriended me when he started in April came by and saw my look of disgust after learning that I was going to get my cohort’s workload. I hadn’t learned it through our boss but through another director who he had spoken too earlier. This IT manager asked me what was going on – I looked like I was going to kill someone. I explained the situation – explained my annoyance and frustration by it all. His response? “I had two people quit yesterday, so I’m hurrying them to get their work done because it just needs to get done by a date before they leave anyway – and I’m not going to be forced to delay it because they decided to quit.”
Another friend kept asking me questions then arguing with me about the answers only to find out my answer wasn’t that far off. Instead of apologizing or even acknowledging that my answer wasn’t vastly wrong as she has reacted, she would just keep going. At one point, I wondered if she would just give me the script of what she wants me to say so that whatever she was hoping to get out of this little chat would go smoother for both of us. I almost wondered that aloud to her but decided that like others, she was missing social cues today too. I came to this conclusion after she randomly asked how the day was going, I explained that I was feeling stabby because apparently even direct social cues are just an opportunity for people to tell me about them and their issues. She suggested I go ahead and stab people then told me about her cat.
There are days where I long for two way conversations. You know, those conversations where the other person acknowledges they have heard what you are saying as they add an appropriate response to the mix. The conversation flows between the people, their thoughts, and their comments without it getting fixated on one thing or another. I thankfully had that later with G and with SB. But spending 10 hrs of getting “let’s take this conversation back to me now, thanks” is tiring especially because everyone is demanding they be seen and heard while not doing the same.
Last night, G and I started watching the new Sherlock special – The Abominable Bride. In one scene, Sherlock is reading up on a topic he is unfamiliar with and talking at Watson in the sitting room. Lestrade, the inspector from Scotland Yard, finally asks Sherlock who he is talking to and the camera pans out to include the chair in the sitting room where you find no one is sitting. Sherlock notices and comments that he thought Watson was responding smarter than usual, then asks when he left. Lestrade points out that he had left an hour before.
I would love to say I’m dealing with people like Sherlock – but that would mean they were clever and smart and all which, they are not. Sadly, I’ve been dealing with the self centered crowd. Which really is too bad because a Sherlock type would be infuriating for its own reasons but at least it would be more exciting!