Hiding Is Hard Sometimes


I feel like I’m hiding today but doing it poorly apparently.

I really just don’t have the energy to deal with people.  But maybe it’s because my interactions have been like this…..

“Hey, how’s it going? Anyway, I cannot believe that while shopping on-line a blue screen of death look alike came up trying to tell me that the Microsoft solution is for me to call this random 800 number to fix it, so instead I ran antivirus software because clearly it happened because of a virus but it came back clean, so it must have been a pop-up ad – and I just can’t believe someone in the universe thinks I’m that dumb to call that number or click on that link – like I’m so idiot or something.  So I decided to shop on a different site that didn’t have pop-ups thinking I’m stupid enough to fall for their tricks.  Can you believe that?!?”

I resisted the urge to respond with “Hi, I’m ok – slept like shit, need more coffee.  How are you?” just to prove the point that she asked how I was but clearly only asked as a way of starting a rant.  I guess she forgot the necessary step in between where you let the person answer, ask how you are doing back, then launch into the tirade.  That’s a rule of society or at least friendship. At least feign interest in how I’m doing.

Instead I pointed out that people do sometimes do what the computer is telling them to do (my mom) and end up fucking up their computer to the point where it cannot be online anymore (my mom) then freak out, call their techie child and demand you fix it over the phone (my mom), until you point out that you can’t fix it as you have fixed other issues before because she gave a random person in India access to her computer every time she’s on the internet so you cannot fix it (my mom).

Funny enough, she acknowledged that these people phishing for the uneducated to catch in their schemes only do it because they catch people with the scheme. Yet she missed the rest of my response.  I know because of what followed:

“OMG, my mother-in-law called an 800 number because the computer told her to once and you have no idea what happened.  The person told her to do all of this stuff and screwed her computer up to the point where she called her son to demand he help her and he had to point out that he couldn’t because of what she had done – and it was likely going to be impossible to fix.  And it was so annoying for him to go through that, you have no idea.”

Nope. None.

Never have gone through something like that. Not at all.

I made a comment about buying my mom a Chromebook in an effort to reduce some of it.

“But anyway, I just can’t believe that happens yes – people need to learn.”

Oh, I can think of a whole lotta things people need to learn – and how to spot and not get caught by phishing is just one.

Even when I went to get my lunch today, I had this experience.  I went to a soup cart where the owner is usually happy not to have to do small talk.  You can tell he has to force himself, so I don’t force him because, I’m there for soup not a full on conversation.

“Oh it’s great to be back. Did I tell you that I closed the cart last week because I went with my buddies on a 2400 mile ride on adventure motorcycles?  It was so much fun – we went from Portland to Utah, then around Utah, then back again.  It was amazing.  Have you ever seen photos of the rock formations? They are incredible live.  And the weather was amazing – thank goodness we did this in fall because how people travel to those areas in summer is beyond me. And everyone we met was from Europe or China.  How weird is that? It was a wild trip.”

“Sounds like a once in a lifetime trip.  I think I want a cup of the chicken and rice.”

“Oh it was incredible.  And the bikes were so much fun to ride. I’m so glad I went with them and closed this place down last week.  I was going to take photos but my buddy brought along his nice camera – like those  big ones with lenses – and I was like ‘Dude, screw me trying to capture this on my camera phone – just send me the photos when you have them.’  It was so cool.”

“That would be an incredible place to photograph – I am jealous.  How much do I owe you?”

Another customer came up about that time, so I was off the hook.  His excitement about his trip was awesome.  But hi, we don’t know each other and I’m hungry and I want soup because my cold won’t go away and I’m hoping soup will make me feel better.  Can I buy something from you and is it extra to not have the side of a 5 minute conversation that seems to come with the fucking cup of soup?  I’m usually not this antisocial but today is a day where I came here because you usually just let me have soup without the small talk and I kinda need that today.

As I was eating my soup (finally), I got pinged by another friend.  “Hi” she started out.  I hesitated to respond but knew, with this person, that a response wouldn’t be necessary.  I responded with a hello back to get…..

“OMG – I can’t believe it’s noon already. I’m really having one of those days.  My oldest son is at home today because he’s got a broken heart and I have a headache and my bra is broken and is now poking me which means after work I have to go to buy a new bra, then go to conferences for my other sons, then to football practice which I’m really sick of – and I’m just wondering why I got out of bed this morning.”

Oh, I’m wondering that myself…..

…..I’m just going to hide from people and hope they finally take the hint.

What do you think?

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